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Band 5.5

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #growth #hunger #poverty #environment
In
this
 contemporary era, enhancement of the economic value is vital in ameliorating
unprevilaged
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unprivileged
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
 of the
soceity
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society
 and providing necessities. I
widly beleive
Correct your spelling
widely believe
 that
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
show examples
 economy is a significant factor in
maitaining
Correct your spelling
maintaining
required
Correct article usage
the required
show examples
standardards
Correct your spelling
standards
 of
manking
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
 there are detrimental
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 to the atmosphere. As
such
 it is
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
 that measures
taken
Add a missing verb
are taken
show examples
 to mitigate harm caused by development.
This
 essay will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
 of economic advancement and
impact
Correct pronoun usage
its impact
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the environment and provide my
openion
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opinion
. On one hand, in order to ameliorate poverty and other basic
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 of the population, a country should enhance its financial position. To be more
presice
Correct your spelling
precise
, advancement of
agrecultural
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agricultural
agriculture
, science and technological sectors
strenghen
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 the lifestyle of people.
For example
, expanding cultivation
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 new lands would ensure adequate
foof
Correct your spelling
food
 supply for the country.
Further
, innovation in technology would be affordable if the country's economic growth is
accelarated
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accelerated
 and
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 turn more business
oppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
created
Add a missing verb
are created
show examples
.
On the other hand
, most of the development activities would use natural resources and
disturbe
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disturb
disturbed
 the local eco
sustems
Correct your spelling
systems
. As many people
argue
Wrong verb form
have argued
show examples
 recently, deforestation and depletion of natural resources
has
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have
show examples
 become a pressing issue.
This
 is to say that,
substancial
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substantial
 growth in
countries
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countries'
country's
show examples
 production is a threat to the natural habitats and
envioroment
Correct your spelling
environment
environments
 as a whole.
For example
,
Correct article usage
the raise
show examples
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the agrecultural
show examples
agrecultural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
 industry
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
desrtoyed
Correct your spelling
destroyed
 habitats for many wildlife
speices
Correct your spelling
species
.
Moreover
, pollution and toxic gases discharged by factories
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the main cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 global warming.
Overall
, in my
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, economic growth is of significant importance for the betterment of mankind,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 there are various adverse effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the environment. The
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 and the
socity
Correct your spelling
society
 as a whole should take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 to
mitigare
Correct your spelling
mitigate
 these damages. Government should
imporse
Correct your spelling
impose
 rules and regulations about usage of natural resources and to protect
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
. Factories should implement
was
Correct your spelling
ways
show examples
 to safely
dispose
Add the preposition
dispose of
show examples
 the waste.
Submitted by sajee_5 on

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Spelling
Pay attention to spelling and ensure all words are correctly spelled to enhance clarity and comprehension.
Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy. This includes correct usage of verb tenses, articles, and sentence structure.
Paragraph balance
Try to maintain a balance in the length of paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph adequately develops a single main idea.
Linking words
For even better coherence, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect ideas.
Structure
Your essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is excellent for guiding the reader.
Task Response
You successfully discussed both views on the topic and provided your own opinion, which is essential for this task.
Examples
The use of specific examples to support your points helps make your arguments more compelling.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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