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Band 4

Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

#life #development
In modern society, advertising
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 become an integral part of our everyday life. From billboards to pop-up advertisements on devices, we are constantly surrounded by marketing messages. I tend to think that
such
 a tendency has both positive and negative sides.
Nevertheless
, I believe that if advertising
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 used for the right purposes,
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 benefits outweigh
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 drawbacks. I advocate strongly with my own view and I am going to provide some arguments, which will confirm my position. On the one hand, advertising plays a crucial role in informing
consumers
 about products and services. By demonstrating the advantages and features of a product, it helps customers make
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right decision about their purchases.
For instance
, when a new snood
released
Add a missing verb
is released
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, advertising helps potential buyers understand its capabilities and decide if it meets their needs. In
this
 sense, advertising can be seen as a valuable tool for both
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 and
consumers
.
On the other hand
, advertising has the ability to manipulate and deceive people. Companies often use clever marketing tactics to create a sense of urgency or desire to purchase their products, encouraging
consumers
 to make impulsive purchases that they may later regret. Taking everything into account,
although
 advertising serves a vital purpose
informing
Change preposition
in informing
show examples
consumers
 and promoting products, increasing prevalence in everyday life has both positive and negative implications.
Submitted by Tlembekova09 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure to provide a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, followed by a clear personal stance, which you've done well. For even stronger task achievement, you could delve deeper into the implications of each point.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows good logical structure and progression of ideas. To enhance coherence further, consider using a wider range of linking phrases to smoothly connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Incorporating more specific examples and real-life scenarios can strengthen your arguments. While the example of a new snood is a good start, adding additional, detailed examples can make your position more convincing.
Task Achievement
You've effectively covered both the positive and negative aspects of advertising, maintaining a balanced view throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, bookending the essay effectively and reinforcing your viewpoint cohesively.
Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear stance and reasoned argumentation, effectively supporting your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • economic growth
  • provide information
  • awareness
  • job opportunities
  • manipulative
  • misleading
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • invade
  • personal space
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