Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. But others think taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is argued whether
team
sports
or individual sports
bring more benefit for participants. From my point of view, I believe that both have their own specialities to join in which I will discuss for
more Change preposition
in
details
in Fix the agreement mistake
detail
this
essay.
On one
hand, one-player Correct article usage
the one
sports
is
perfect to show a person's strength. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
For example
, in boxing, the champion is the one who defeat
all of Change the verb form
defeats
defenders
. Add an article
the defenders
There for
, in Correct your spelling
Therefore
these kind
of Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
sports
, personal abilities are high
value as the core feature leading to victory. Athletes in these fields are required not Change preposition
of high
to
be independent but Rephrase
only to
also
self-discipline in high-intensity workouts to get achievement
. Verb problem
achieve
As a result
, the winners in this
field are more success
both in fame, position, salary and exactly, become wealthier quickly.
Replace the word
successful
On the other hand
, players in team
are Add an article
the team
a team
effortlessly
to Replace the adverb
effortless
the
victory Correct article usage
apply
by
many ways. Members Change preposition
in
on
a Change preposition
of
team
are not alone, they play in strategies which
the weak of one is the strong of the others and vice versa. Change preposition
in which
Hence
, a member can count on his or her team
and has the others's back. However
, despite of
the victory of a Change preposition
apply
team
, there just only a few member
of it really become Change to a plural noun
members
success
. Replace the word
successful
For instance
in football, just
some Rephrase
only
star
like David Beckham or Messi Fix the agreement mistake
stars
who
stand out Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
the Change preposition
in
team
and have his
own successful Correct pronoun usage
their
career
. Unfortunately, most of the others are usually remembered as Fix the agreement mistake
careers
unname
players but forgotten after the champion.
In summary, I think each kind of Correct your spelling
unnamed
sports
has Fix the agreement mistake
sport
it
own pros and cons, Change the pronoun
its
team
or individual sport is just the
number. People should consider before taking part in Correct article usage
a
rely
on what they want to get from the sport than Change the verb form
relying
decide
Wrong verb form
deciding
base
on Wrong verb form
based
kind
of Correct article usage
the kind
sports
.Submitted by ntbang25 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure clear and logical organization of ideas throughout the essay to enhance coherence. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples with specific details to strengthen your argument and illustrate your points more vividly.
Task Response
You successfully discussed both views and provided your own opinion, showing a good understanding of the essay topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
You effectively used a comparative structure to discuss the benefits and challenges of both team and individual sports, which helped maintain a clear focus throughout.
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