IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?

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I believe that both options have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own reasoning. Building housing
areas
Use synonyms
 on taller
buildings
Use synonyms
 serves
purpose
Add an article
the purpose
a purpose
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to minimize
Change preposition
of minimizing
show examples
 the land it would take to build normal, standard
houses
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 might prefer building
houses
Use synonyms
 on
wider
Add an article
a wider
the wider
show examples
 area of land, as it gives them freedom and extra space like a small yard or lawn. Let's take a deeper look into each
perspectives
Change to a singular noun
perspective
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. Taller
buildings
Use synonyms
 offer a better view, for some
people
Use synonyms
 who
enjoys
Change the verb form
enjoy
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 seeing
sceneries
Fix the agreement mistake
scenery
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 from above.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, housing
areas
Use synonyms
 like apartments, offer free facilitations that come with the unit (e.g., swimming pool, gym, etc.).
Whereas
Linking Words
, a regular house doesn't have that benefit.
However
Linking Words
, housing
areas
Use synonyms
 on tall
buildings
Use synonyms
 do have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 drawbacks, one of them being the restrictions/regulations.
For instance
Linking Words
, when living in an apartment/condo, there are certain rules that may be applied
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 no loud noises after 7 p.m., no pets inside, no smoking inside the unit, etc.
This
Linking Words
 may be a huge deal breaker for some
people
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, regular
houses
Use synonyms
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not have
such
Linking Words
 restrictions. You generally have the freedom to do anything within your unit, as long as it doesn't bother nor danger the lives of
people
Use synonyms
 in the neighbourhood.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the average
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
Use synonyms
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
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 usually comes with a small lawn or yard, which you can use for anything to
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 heart's content.
However
Linking Words
, since most regular
houses
Use synonyms
 take significantly more land compared to an apartment/condo,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can't store more
people
Use synonyms
 in the area compared to an apartment/condo.
Thus
Linking Words
, making it less ideal for a city to only have regular housing
areas
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the regular housing price might be a lot steeper and not everyone can afford it. In conclusion, limiting to only one of either
options
Change to a singular noun
option
show examples
 is less ideal, as
everybody
Change noun form
everybody's
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 needs and preferences vary. A city should have both housing
areas
Use synonyms
 in taller
buildings
Use synonyms
 and wider
areas
Use synonyms
 and it must be adjusted
according to
Linking Words
 the city's population and the residents' needs.

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coherence cohesion
Aim to vary your sentence structures further to enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
Integrate a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic to demonstrate language proficiency.
task achievement
Consider bringing in comparative examples or case studies to solidify your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were clear and effectively framed the discussion.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view by discussing the advantages and drawbacks of both options, which enriched your task response.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • sustainability
  • public transportation
  • green spaces
  • community connections
  • overcrowding
  • economic implications
  • infrastructure impact
  • maintenance costs
  • carbon footprint
  • compact city
  • habitat destruction
  • greenhouse gas emissions
What to do next:
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