Many people from rural areas (are) moving to the cities. What problems can this cause? what can be solutions?

Nowadays, people from
villiges
Correct your spelling
villages
approach moving to big cities.
However
,
this
trend results in several problems. In
this
assay, some of the issues and their solutions will be represented. First of all,
this
constantly enhancing stream leads to
shrinking
Correct article usage
the shrinking
show examples
of rural areas,
overpopulation
Correct word choice
and overpopulation
show examples
in cities. After all, both of those issues
implal
Correct your spelling
implant
other, but even more
sereous
Correct your spelling
serious
problems – overpopulation in cities, shrinking of the agricultural
sigmentant
Correct your spelling
segmenting
and eventually, absence of organic products at the supermarkets.
The agriculture
Correct article usage
Agriculture
show examples
demands a lot of employees and
therefore
, it cannot exist without human
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
.
Furthermore
, another terrible thing is that builders and developers need more and more land for the new houses.
As a result
, the quantity of cars per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
person is just increasing from year to year dramatically.
This
trend obviously, spoils the air quality. The number of the best solutions
shold
Correct your spelling
should
be done.
Firstly
, increasing salaries in the
countrisides
Correct your spelling
countryside
countrysides
is the most reasonable idea – people should get paid enough to have
motivetion
Correct your spelling
motivation
not to move away. Developing online services across the country is
also
a big deal. Another important step is planting more trees across the
new-built
Correct your spelling
newly built
show examples
districts just
as well as
motivating people to acquire electric cars to make the
eair
Correct your spelling
air
hair
ear
cleaner.
However
, the most critical
steps
Fix the agreement mistake
step
show examples
is probably developing new robots and
tecknicks
Correct your spelling
techniques
for supporting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture in the
fure
Correct your spelling
future
. In
concucion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
concussion
, it is worth saying that the
countriside
Correct your spelling
countryside
should be preserved anyway.
Moreover
, experts should
also
figure out what difficulties the stream causes apart from those
saying
Change the form of the verb
said
show examples
above.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and provides clear, though sometimes generalized, responses to the topics of problems and solutions related to rural-urban migration.
Task Achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your arguments. General statements are good, but detailed examples add depth and persuasiveness to your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in guiding the reader through your points seamlessly.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve cohesion, work on smoother transitions between ideas. Phrases like 'First of all,' 'Furthermore,' and 'However' are used, but additional linking words and phrases can enhance the flow of your essay.
Language
Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and vocabulary range. While minor inaccuracies don't significantly impact understanding, greater linguistic precision and variety would enhance your essay's overall quality.
Task Achievement
You aptly identified both problems and solutions related to urban migration, maintaining relevance to the task throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, providing a clear stance and summarizing the main points convincingly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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