In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

In recent years, markets have focused on
their
Change the word
the
show examples
innovations and newness of their product as their main feature to
introducing
Wrong verb form
introduce
show examples
themselves to audiences. In my opinion, Competitive strategy and demands can be of main reasons for them to choose
this
core for their adverts, which can
possitively
Correct your spelling
positively
affect the market improvement. (I think) in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
era
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
rapid
Correct article usage
the rapid
show examples
gradual
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
of
technolog
Correct your spelling
technology
day by day, all
businessess
Correct your spelling
businesses
have to accompany their
products
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
the waves of
improvemnts
Correct your spelling
improvements
to be alive and more crativity leads to stand out in their field.
therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
they try to design new
products
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
different recognizable features rather than other business competitors and
promot
Correct your spelling
promote
these
differentiation
Replace the word
differences
show examples
in their advertising presentation.
For instance
, any creativity in the field of appliances of households which make them more
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
convenient
to perform can easily
attracts
Change the verb form
attract
show examples
house wives
Correct your spelling
housewives
show examples
and other housekeepers. (I think)
consumers
Change noun form
consumers'
consumer's
show examples
needs can be another significant cause of encouraging business owners to design their new
products
and using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
demand as their ad's genre, which can broadly
Add a missing verb
be heared
show examples
heared
Correct your spelling
heard
by their intended
crowed
Correct your spelling
crowd
show examples
, ending directly to sell
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
new items. Digital gadgets
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a tangible example, as whenever customers find
about
Change preposition
out about
show examples
their
desiers
Correct your spelling
desires
designers
which came true in new devices. In my opinion,
although
this
approch
Correct your spelling
approach
can spread out some bad habits in societies
such
as consumerism and throwing out culture which can negatively affect the environment
in addition
to
making
Verb problem
creating
show examples
finantial
Correct your spelling
financial
problems for families, it can
difintly
Correct your spelling
definitely
brought
Change the verb form
bring
be brought
show examples
accomplishments for
tarding
Correct your spelling
training
and marketing sectors. They impressively amplify the
crativity
Correct your spelling
creativity
of producing
products
and
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
new job opportunities and grow the industry. In conclusion, emphasising
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new characteristics of
commedities
Correct your spelling
commodities
in promotions which mostly
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
from
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
show examples
of the previous goods to satisfy consumers
besides
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
competition of producers to attract the people
buying
Change the verb form
to buy
show examples
their new
productions
Replace the word
products
show examples
, can have
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
positive
Change the word
positively
show examples
improve the marketing industry.
Submitted by enayatollahi.at on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Clarity
Ensure clarity in presenting your argument by avoiding overly complex sentence structures that can obscure meaning. Simple, clear sentences are effective in communicating your ideas.
Grammar
Work on refining your grammatical accuracy. Small errors in tense, plurality, or article use can slightly detract from the overall presentation, even if the message is still understandable.
Vocabulary
Expand your vocabulary range to include more precise and varied language. This can enhance the expressiveness of your essay and make your arguments more compelling.
Cohesion
To further improve cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Content Development
You effectively developed your main points with relevant examples, which strengthens your argumentation.
Structure
Your essay displays a good attempt at structuring your ideas logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Response
You have maintained a focus on the task throughout the essay, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic and assignment requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: