Some people think museums and art galleries should show works of art and history from their own country rather than from diff erent parts of the world. Do you agree or disagree ?
It is argued that
museums
and art galleries should only exhibit cultural and historical works
of their own country instead
of works
of other nations in the world. In my opinion, I partly agree with this
idea.
On the one hand, there are many reasons why the
Correct article usage
apply
museums
should display national masterpieces which show the specific cultural values of each country. Firstly
, not only do literature works
and artworks signify long-lasting history, but they also
contain valuable lessons of
Change preposition
about
ethnicities
of each nation. Correct article usage
the ethnicities
Therefore
, through the exhibitions of museums
and art galleries, these works
can instill
moral values into young people and develop their patriotism. Change the spelling
instil
Secondly
, tourism in countries can be advertised worldwide via the exhibiting pictures of cultures. As a result
, the economy as well as
communities can be improved and ameliorated. For instance
, in Vietnam, many national museums
are established and constructed in order to show the cultural quintessence.
On the other hand
, there are some arguments which explain reasons why works
of other countries are nominated and learned in the curriculum. This
can be explained by obvious benefits. First of all, works
of other nations can help people enhance Correct article usage
the works
Correct pronoun usage
their horizon
horizon
about Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
world
Add an article
the world
as well as
other cultures. For example
, literature works
written by foreign authors are compulsory in the curriculum of Vietnam. In addition
, there are conferences held so as to introduce works
of other countries.
In conclusion, I believe that museums
and art galleries should put more of an emphasis on works
of
their own country rather than Change preposition
from
works
of
Change preposition
from
the
other parts Correct article usage
apply
in
the world.Change preposition
of
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Task Achievement
Craft a more precise thesis statement in your introduction to guide readers. Mention briefly both views you plan to discuss.
Task Achievement
Try to include more concrete examples to support your arguments. This makes your essay more persuasive and provides a clearer understanding of your viewpoints.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, make use of a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your arguments.
Task Achievement
You effectively discussed both sides of the argument which meets the task requirement well.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a good logical structure to your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
The inclusion of both advantages and disadvantages of featuring national and international works in museums and galleries shows a balanced approach to the topic.