IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. why is this happening do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years, technology has been improved significantly in order to help
humans
Use synonyms
 solve their tasks easily.
This
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 case totally comes from the enormous benefits of high-tech;
however
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, it can
also
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 lead to some unpredictable dangers for
humans
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 in the future if they are used in an incorrect way. With the development of robots
as well as
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 artificial intelligence,
humans
Use synonyms
 tend to be replaced in
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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certain jobs
due to
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 the convenience of these modern tools. Nowadays, people gradually create a lot of automatic devices to simplify their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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as well as
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 increase the efficiency and accuracy of the process.
For instance
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, in
this
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 era, industry seems to become easier through mass production
instead
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 of manual production as before.
Nevertheless
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, if people utilize these tools too much, there will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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numerous
of
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apply
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negative sides.
In other words
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, abusing artificial intelligence can lead to some serious health problems
such
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 as obesity or laziness.
Although
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 creating robots is one way of leading a comfortable lifestyle, it
also
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 makes
humans
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 more passive and lazier.
As a result
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, they cannot do anything without technology;
therefore
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, in the future, artificial intelligence will gradually become a real risk to the existence of
humans
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. In conclusion, despite having a large
amount
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number
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 of advantages, manufacturing automatic high-tech is still dangerous for people, especially
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 who can be unemployed if
technology
Add an article
the technology
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 becomes worldwide.
This
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 writer totally
believe
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believes
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 that
humans
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 need to use it
with
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at
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 a suitable level in order to exploit its convenience as much as possible.

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examples
Ensure to offer specific examples to strengthen your argument. While you discussed the impact of robotics and AI on society and employment, incorporating more detailed examples or case studies would have enhanced the illustrative power of your essay.
grammar
Carefully proofread your essay to catch and correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'This case totally comes from the enormous benefits of high-tech; however, it can also lead to some unpredictable dangers for humans in the future if they are used in an incorrect way.' could be revised to 'This situation arises from the enormous benefits of high-tech; however, it can also lead to unpredictable dangers for humans in the future if misused.'
conclusion
Considering both sides of the argument and concluding with a clear personal stance is commendable. Make sure your conclusion succinctly encapsulates your opinion and the reasons behind your stance.
task response
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing an analysis of both the benefits and drawbacks of robots and AI in the workplace.
structure
You've maintained a logical flow of ideas, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
argument depth
Your essay provides a perspective that considers societal impacts, which is essential for a balanced argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Cost-effective
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancements
  • Job displacement
  • Economic disparity
  • Dependency
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Ethical concerns
  • Moral questions
  • Standard of living
  • Income gap
  • Widespread automation
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