IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

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In modern days, the development of artificial intelligence and
robots
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 will replace
humans
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 in all jobs in large companies.
This
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 is because human productivity is decreasing, so people tend to replace learning with
robots
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.
This
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 is a warning to
humans
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, once they can no longer utilize their human intelligence, all
humans
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 will be eliminated and replaced by
robots
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. Advances in robotics, machine learning, and AI algorithms have transformed the workplace by enabling
automation
Correct article usage
the automation
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 of tasks previously considered too complex. These innovations allow
robots
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 and AI systems to perform various functions with precision and efficiency.
For example
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, in manufacturing,
robots
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 can assemble products swiftly and accurately, revolutionizing production processes.
Similarly
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, in sectors like healthcare and logistics, AI-powered systems streamline operations, leading to improved outcomes and cost savings. The widespread adoption of
robots
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 and artificial intelligence in the workforce raises significant concerns about job displacement. As machines take over tasks traditionally performed by
humans
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, there's a risk of widespread unemployment, economic instability, and exacerbation of income inequality.
Additionally
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, ethical concerns regarding data privacy, algorithmic bias, and the broader societal implications of delegating decision-making to machines need to be addressed. In conclusion, the rise of
robots
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 and AI in the workforce offers benefits but
also
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 poses challenges like job displacement and ethical concerns.

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Task Achievement
Your essay opens strongly by identifying the trend of robotics and AI replacing humans in workplaces, attributing this shift to a perceived decrease in human productivity. To enhance task achievement, ensure your argument is more nuanced by acknowledging the diverse reasons behind this trend and its multifaceted impact on society.
Task Achievement
While you utilize examples effectively, more elaborate exploration of the reasons facilitating the shift towards automation and artificial intelligence would provide a deeper, more persuasive analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay showcases an effective structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. For improvement, consider varying your sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow and readability.
Task Achievement
When discussing negative impacts, it's crucial to offer potential solutions or ways to mitigate these effects, which adds depth to your analysis and shows a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
Task Achievement
You've provided relevant examples, such as in manufacturing and healthcare, which illustrate the impacts of robots and AI, effectively supporting your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively rounds off the essay, reiterating the main points and the double-edged nature of robotics and AI adoption.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Cost-effective
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancements
  • Job displacement
  • Economic disparity
  • Dependency
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Ethical concerns
  • Moral questions
  • Standard of living
  • Income gap
  • Widespread automation
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