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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart demonstrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of households by
people
Use synonyms
's yearly salary in America in three different years. The number of earning less than $25,000 in a year shows a slight growth from nearly 25
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to around 28
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 residents living in America between 2007 and 2011,
while
Linking Words
 it
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 slightly to less than 28
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a similar trend can be seen in the number of households between $25,000 and $49,999 as the figure for
this
Linking Words
 grew from 27
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 or so to nearly 30
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and
finally
Linking Words
 descended to 28
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the amount of annual income ranging from $50,000 to $99,999 remained approximately unchanged from 2007 to 2015.
However
Linking Words
, there are nearly 30
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dwellers
could
Correct pronoun usage
who could
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 gain more than $100,000 in 2007.
This
Linking Words
 figure reduced to 27
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2011 and
then
Linking Words
 markedly rose to more than 33
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 4 years later.
Overall
Linking Words
, during these three years, the feature of
people
Use synonyms
 who are able to earn a specific yearly income remained unchanged despite there
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 more
people
Use synonyms
 who can gain $100,000 or more in 2015.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Annual income
  • Household
  • Income bracket
  • Trend
  • Significant
  • Growth
  • Decline
  • Distribution
  • Shift
  • Proportion
  • Rise
  • Drop
  • Plateau
  • Peak
  • Fluctuation
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