In their advertising,businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this?Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It is evident that more and more businesses lay emphasis on the new parts of their goods in different ways in their advertisements. I think
people
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’s concept may lead to
this
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and
this
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can allow
people
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to live a happier life. The
tradition
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traditional
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notion may be responsible for
this
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case. There is a convention that something new is better than something old. So civilians always tend to purchase
newest
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the newest
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items and abandon the old things. To cater for
this
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opinion, manufacturers decide to give importance to
let
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letting
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their products have some new functions and try their best to enable
people
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know
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to know
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these, which allows
perductors
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educators
to earn more money.
For example
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, the one who considers it
nessesary
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necessary
to invent new goods and
tell
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tells
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public
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the public
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about
it
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them
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is more likely to be richer than the one who does not advertise
it
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them
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. In my view,
this
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situation can improve the standard of citizens’ lives. As a matter of fact, if the businesses want to emphasise their goods’ new parts, their goods have to obtain the new functions.
As a result
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, more and more new items will be invented by companies.
Although
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most of the inventions may be useless, some of them can have a positive effect on our lives, and
few
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a few
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of them may change our lives in good ways forever.
For instance
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, the company which is aimed to create a new type of mobile phone is possible to find a more
usefull
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useful
and convenient one and make life easier for
people
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. The best companies like
apple
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Apple
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and
google
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Google
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may change the world in
this
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procedure.
To sum up
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,
this
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phenominon
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phenomenon
may be caused by the conception of
people
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and businesses just
try
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trying
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to satisfy them.
This
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may enable
people
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to live a better life.

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Structure
Make sure your essay is well-organized. Introduce your arguments in the introduction, develop them in the body paragraphs, and summarize them in the conclusion for better coherence.
Linking Words
Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs together more smoothly. This not only helps with the flow of your essay but also demonstrates a higher level of language ability.
Grammar & Spelling
Double-check your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos. While small mistakes are not heavily penalized, reducing them can help make your argument clearer and your writing more professional.
Examples
Don't hesitate to provide specific examples to support your points. While you have included some examples, elaborating further and making them more detailed can enrich your argument and make it more persuasive.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the prompt and presented a clear opinion on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows good coherence and cohesion by presenting ideas in a logical manner and connecting paragraphs.
Content Variety
The essay includes both analyses of why businesses emphasize the new aspects of their products and your personal opinion on the development, which enriches the content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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