IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In their advertising,businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this?Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It is evident that more and more businesses lay emphasis on the new parts of their goods in different ways in their advertisements. I think
people
Use synonyms
’s concept may lead to
this
Linking Words
 and
this
Linking Words
 can allow
people
Use synonyms
 to live a happier life. The
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
 notion may be responsible for
this
Linking Words
 case. There is a convention that something new is better than something old. So civilians always tend to purchase
newest
Correct article usage
the newest
show examples
 items and abandon the old things. To cater for
this
Linking Words
 opinion, manufacturers decide to give importance to
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
 their products have some new functions and try their best to enable
people
Use synonyms
know
Add the particle
to know
show examples
 these, which allows
perductors
Correct your spelling
educators
 to earn more money.
For example
Linking Words
, the one who considers it
nessesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to invent new goods and
tell
Change the verb form
tells
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 about
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 is more likely to be richer than the one who does not advertise
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In my view,
this
Linking Words
 situation can improve the standard of citizens’ lives. As a matter of fact, if the businesses want to emphasise their goods’ new parts, their goods have to obtain the new functions.
As a result
Linking Words
, more and more new items will be invented by companies.
Although
Linking Words
 most of the inventions may be useless, some of them can have a positive effect on our lives, and
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 of them may change our lives in good ways forever.
For instance
Linking Words
, the company which is aimed to create a new type of mobile phone is possible to find a more
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 and convenient one and make life easier for
people
Use synonyms
. The best companies like
apple
Capitalize word
Apple
show examples
 and
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
 may change the world in
this
Linking Words
 procedure.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
phenominon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 may be caused by the conception of
people
Use synonyms
 and businesses just
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to satisfy them.
This
Linking Words
 may enable
people
Use synonyms
 to live a better life.

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Structure
Make sure your essay is well-organized. Introduce your arguments in the introduction, develop them in the body paragraphs, and summarize them in the conclusion for better coherence.
Linking Words
Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs together more smoothly. This not only helps with the flow of your essay but also demonstrates a higher level of language ability.
Grammar & Spelling
Double-check your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos. While small mistakes are not heavily penalized, reducing them can help make your argument clearer and your writing more professional.
Examples
Don't hesitate to provide specific examples to support your points. While you have included some examples, elaborating further and making them more detailed can enrich your argument and make it more persuasive.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the prompt and presented a clear opinion on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows good coherence and cohesion by presenting ideas in a logical manner and connecting paragraphs.
Content Variety
The essay includes both analyses of why businesses emphasize the new aspects of their products and your personal opinion on the development, which enriches the content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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