In their advertising,businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this?Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
It is evident that more and more businesses lay emphasis on the new parts of their goods in different ways in their advertisements. I think
people
’s concept may lead to this
and this
can allow people
to live a happier life.
The tradition
notion may be responsible for Replace the word
traditional
this
case. There is a convention that something new is better than something old. So civilians always tend to purchase newest
items and abandon the old things. To cater for Correct article usage
the newest
this
opinion, manufacturers decide to give importance to let
their products have some new functions and try their best to enable Wrong verb form
letting
people
know
these, which allows Add the particle
to know
perductors
to earn more money. Correct your spelling
educators
For example
, the one who considers it nessesary
to invent new goods and Correct your spelling
necessary
tell
Change the verb form
tells
public
about Correct article usage
the public
it
is more likely to be richer than the one who does not advertise Correct pronoun usage
them
it
.
In my view, Correct pronoun usage
them
this
situation can improve the standard of citizens’ lives. As a matter of fact, if the businesses want to emphasise their goods’ new parts, their goods have to obtain the new functions. As a result
, more and more new items will be invented by companies. Although
most of the inventions may be useless, some of them can have a positive effect on our lives, and few
of them may change our lives in good ways forever. Correct article usage
a few
For instance
, the company which is aimed to create a new type of mobile phone is possible to find a more usefull
and convenient one and make life easier for Correct your spelling
useful
people
. The best companies like apple
and Capitalize word
Apple
google
may change the world in Capitalize word
Google
this
procedure.
To sum up
, this
phenominon
may be caused by the conception of Correct your spelling
phenomenon
people
and businesses just try
to satisfy them. Wrong verb form
trying
This
may enable people
to live a better life.Submitted by 2578922328 on
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Structure
Make sure your essay is well-organized. Introduce your arguments in the introduction, develop them in the body paragraphs, and summarize them in the conclusion for better coherence.
Linking Words
Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs together more smoothly. This not only helps with the flow of your essay but also demonstrates a higher level of language ability.
Grammar & Spelling
Double-check your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos. While small mistakes are not heavily penalized, reducing them can help make your argument clearer and your writing more professional.
Examples
Don't hesitate to provide specific examples to support your points. While you have included some examples, elaborating further and making them more detailed can enrich your argument and make it more persuasive.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the prompt and presented a clear opinion on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows good coherence and cohesion by presenting ideas in a logical manner and connecting paragraphs.
Content Variety
The essay includes both analyses of why businesses emphasize the new aspects of their products and your personal opinion on the development, which enriches the content.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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