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Band 2.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
The main topic of the recent articles is
about
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apply
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the importance of unpaid volunteering
work
 for youth. Personally, I believe that forcing students to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
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basic community
work
 would make the planet way better.
Consequently
, I will provide my arguments below. Primarily, teaching children to
work
 from a young age is very important for their future. In most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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cases
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cases,
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 kids are unable to do something on their own, and
hence
 they have a negative impact on society.
Moreover
, the basic life skills of cleaning up after yourself
is
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are
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 very crucial to keep the planet clean.
As a result
, the individuals with a sense of contribution to humankind are more likely to get a
high paid
Correct your spelling
high-paying
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 job.
On the other hand
, the students who lost their path in life are more likely to get their passion.
Therefore
,
according to
 recent statistics, each third person in college is lost in their mind about their upcoming
professions
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profession
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.
For example
, learners could decide their lifelong in working with animals
such
 as
veterinarian
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veterinarians
show examples
,
as a result
 of their
work
 in dog shelters.
Submitted by libranefertiti93 on

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Introduction clarity
Consider adding an introduction that clearly states your position on the topic. This will provide a roadmap for your essay and make your viewpoint immediately clear to the reader.
Conclusion clarity
Include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This helps to reinforce your argument and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Organization and transitions
Work on organizing your essay with clear paragraphs, each centered around a single main idea. Use transitional phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay.
Supporting evidence
Be cautious with general statements. Support your arguments with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your case and make your essay more persuasive.
Relevance of content
While developing your points, try to consistently relate back to the question prompt to ensure that all your arguments are directly addressing the task.
Personal viewpoint
The essay presents a strong personal viewpoint, which is a good foundation for a persuasive argument.
Idea variety
You've included a variety of ideas, which shows an effort to comprehensively address the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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