IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays, there`s more and more competition for getting into university. Is it positive / negative development?

#there`s #competition #university #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In a recent cutting-edge era of non-stop developing countries, the demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 education is on a significant rise.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the competition among freshmen to get into the most prestigious universities is tough.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 I lean towards the idea of a contest and I will provide my arguments below. Over the past
decades
Add a comma
decades,
show examples
 the nations with a high rate of educated persons increased the
overall
Linking Words
 economy of the state.
Therefore
Linking Words
 a huge amount of individuals with a qualified degree are more likely to get into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international companies, which
restrict
Correct subject-verb agreement
restricts
show examples
 the number of mankind with unemployment.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 the average salary of workers is a dramatic incline, making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life in that particular country way better.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the process of applying to educational institutions gives a strong stress resistance level.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 the procedure of registering documents to the admission office is punishing.
For example
Linking Words
, the students are required to demonstrate their academic, non-academic, and financial status, which is not possible for everyone,
hence
Linking Words
 learners in their way of gaining valuable skills
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their upcoming job places.
Submitted by libranefertiti93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Make sure your introduction sets a clear context for your argument, providing an overview of both the positive and negative aspects. This will help readers understand the topic and your stance from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence, try to establish a clearer connection between paragraphs by using more transitional phrases or sentences that link your points smoothly.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, strive to clearly summarize your arguments, restate your position, and possibly suggest a viewpoint or resolution to the issue. This ensures that your essay feels complete.
Task Achievement
Integrate more specific examples or data to bolster your arguments. This enhances credibility and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
Balanced Viewpoint
Your essay discusses both sides of the competition for university places, which is good for presenting a balanced viewpoint.
Clarity and Structure
The language and structure used are generally clear, making your essay easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: