Many university students live with their families while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations
Some
Change preposition
In some
education
institutions Replace the word
educational
pupils
live together their
Change preposition
with their
parents
while
others live away from house
because their Add an article
the house
education
institutions are in Replace the word
educational
kind
of places. There are a lot of advantages and disadvantages of both conditions.
From one perspective, Add an article
a kind
the kind
students
live together their
families. It is very good for Change preposition
with their
pupils
because they have
not Verb problem
do
miss
suffer difficult challenges, lack Verb problem
apply
from
money, Change preposition
apply
hungry
, Replace the word
hunger
anxiety
from their Correct word choice
or anxiety
parents
. They will be health
, especially Replace the word
healthy
parents
do not worry Correct word choice
if parents
from
Change preposition
about
children
and Correct pronoun usage
their children
be
care, carefully Unnecessary verb
apply
to
Change preposition
for
offspring
at Correct pronoun usage
their offspring
house
. Add an article
the house
Besides
that, students
think only education
knowledge, have
not hazardous , bad hurt ideology, notion because mothers and fathers Verb problem
is
gives
adrenaline, strong motivation , big care for Change the verb form
give
children
. Others do not live with families because will not be might university in their country or Correct pronoun usage
their children
further
to university their home , in this
situation , many students
live in flats
. They have very much leisure time and doing
homework . Wrong verb form
do
This
place be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
quite
and Correct your spelling
quiet
pupils
concentrate. In their free time, go to the student centred
Add a hyphen
student-centred
education
.
From another angle, if students
live
their mothers and fathers Correct your spelling
leave
while
have not time for homework, go to the add subjects. Meanwhile do not continue private interests. Pupils
live further
from parents
, they pay extremely much money Correct pronoun usage
their parents
their
Change preposition
for their
flats
and will be might
sick , ill because in currently, Verb problem
apply
has
cold, bad Correct subject-verb agreement
have
flats
. Every year all students
live Correct article usage
the students
Change preposition
in this
this
Correct determiner usage
these
flats
so they do not fix , there are vital issue
in Fix the agreement mistake
issues
flat
.
In conclusion, there are many Correct article usage
the flat
students
today. They live with their parents
while
others live away from house
because their universities are in Add an article
the house
kind
of Add an article
a kind
the kind
places
.Fix the agreement mistake
place
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more clearly. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence that summarizes its main idea.
task achievement
Work on providing specific examples to strengthen your points. These can be hypothetical situations, personal experiences, or known facts.
general
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and understanding. Revising your work or practicing with grammar exercises could be helpful.
task achievement
You have presented both viewpoints on the issue, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
You attempt to conclude your essay, summarizing the discussed points, which is a good practice.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example