Many university students live with their families while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations?
Some educational institution
pupils
live together with
their parents
while
others live away from the house because their educational institutions are in a kind of place. There are a lot of advantages and disadvantages of both conditions.
From one perspective, students
live together with
their families. It is very good for pupils
because they do not suffer difficult challenges, a lack of money, hunger, or anxiety from their parents
. They will be healthy, especially if parents
do not worry about their children and care carefully for their offspring at the house . Besides
that, students
think only educational knowledge is not hazardous because mothers and fathers give adrenaline, strong motivation and big care for their children. Others do not live with families because they might be studying at university in their city or further
to university their home. In this
case, many students
live in flats
. They have very much leisure time and do homework. This
place may be quiet and pupils
can concentrate. In their free time, they may go to the student-centred education.
From another angle, if students
leave their mothers and fathers, while
they have Correct word choice
apply
not
time for homework and go to the extracurricular subjects. Meanwhile, Correct your spelling
no
students
do not continue private
interests. Correct pronoun usage
their private
Pupils
live further
from their parents
. They pay extremely much money for their flats
and will be ill because currently, have cold, bad flats
. Every year all the students
live in these flats
so they do not fix , there are vital issues in the flat.
In conclusion, there are many students
today. Some live with their parents
while
others live away from the house because their universities are in a kind of places
.Fix the agreement mistake
place
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on
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Task Achievement
Consider offering more concrete examples to support your arguments. This will help in providing a more robust discussion on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to maintain consistency in terminology throughout your essay to enhance clarity. For instance, stick to one term when referring to 'students' instead of switching between 'students', 'pupils', and 'offspring'.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve your essay, consider reorganizing some sections to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
Task Achievement
It's beneficial to explore both sides of the argument equally. Make sure you dedicate similar lengths of discussion to both the advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Your essay begins with a clear introduction of the topic, which is a commendable start.
Task Achievement
You've tried to cover both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a good attempt at responding to the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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