IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs indicate the source of complaints about the bank of America and the amount of time it takes to have the complaints resolved.

#graphs #source #complaints #bank #america #amount #time
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The pie chart illustrates data on the percentage of complaint sources about the Bank of America,
while
Linking Words
 the bar graph shows the
time
Use synonyms
 required to resolve these
complaints
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the majority of
dissatisfactories
Correct your spelling
dissatisfactory
dissatisfactory's
 came from
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the longest
time
Use synonyms
 was spent
to solve
Change the verb form
solving
show examples
complaints
Use synonyms
 in 2001. Looking into detail, the largest percentage of total
complaints
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, 63 per
cent
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,
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 from the public,
while
Linking Words
 government agencies accounted for 11 per
cent
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.
Furhermore
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Furthermore
,when the rate for out-of-state was 10%, the figure for insurance companies was 2 per
cent
Use synonyms
 lower than
out of state
Add a hyphen
out-of-state
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.What is more,
complaints
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 originated from media and bank employees made up the same
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.(3 per
cent
Use synonyms
). With regard to the bar chart,the highest amount of
time
Use synonyms
 was spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the solutions of
complaints
Use synonyms
 in 2001(about 6 months),but in 2000,
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 was a month lower than
2001
Change preposition
in 2001
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
Moreover
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, in 2002, the bank used 4 months,but
this
Linking Words
 figure increased and reached 5 months in 2003 and did not
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuate
show examples
 during
a
Correct article usage
the
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 year from 2003 to 2004
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, complaints, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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