IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a position or negative impact on society?

#robots #intelligence #humans #workplace #position #impact #society
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is a fact that
robots
Use synonyms
 and artificial intelligence are being improved to remove humans from the workplace.
This
Linking Words
 might come from the development of technology and mention to a comfortable lifestyle.
However
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, it can bring many drawbacks to society. In the heyday of the digital era, scientists do more and more research to create intelligent, helpful and skilful machines for the community. The Robotics industry is improving through the day.
Initially
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,
robots
Use synonyms
 were used to do dangerous work
such
Linking Words
 as building, carrying heavy things or something micro.
For instance
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, artificial intelligence can produce something with high precision like doing chemical experiments, or in production lines.
In contrast
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, the development of cyborgs can lead to an increasing unemployment rate. For the first time,
robots
Use synonyms
 or artificial have only participated in some stages of a process and still have not promoted all their skills. After a long time of research, the public uses their skills in all stages of a process.
As a result
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 of
this
Linking Words
, many individuals can not catch up with the work progress of automation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they may not
offered
Change the verb form
offer
be offered
show examples
 any jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, entrepreneurs will decide to replace people with machines to have a greater product with high quality and in a shorter time. In conclusion, developed countries have the idea that updating the features of
robots
Use synonyms
 will turn into the main reason for unemployment.
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Clarity of Expression
Try to present your ideas more clearly and ensure they are easily understood by the reader. Consider using simple and direct language to make your essay more approachable.
Paragraph Structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details. This will help in making your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
Introduction & Conclusion
Remember to revisit your introduction and conclusion to ensure they are clear and effectively summarize your main points and stance on the topic. This strengthens the overall impact of your essay.
Use of Examples
Including more specific examples and evidence will enhance your argument and make your points more convincing. Try to provide concrete examples that directly support your claims.
Balanced Argument
You've successfully discussed both sides of the impact of AI and robotics on employment, which is crucial for a balanced argument.
Engagement with Topic
Your engagement with the topic demonstrates your understanding of the implications of technological advancements in the workplace. This depth is commendable and adds value to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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