Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?
In recent years increasing number of
the
rural residents have decided to leave their living places and farms to join the people in big Correct article usage
apply
cities
. This
decision has brought a especial
concern regarding a prompt decline in the population of the rural Correct your spelling
special
areas
. From my personal point of view, this
issue has more negative impacts than positive results, both for the villages
and the cities
.
I would like to start off my discussion by writing about why the country people decide to migrate to the cities
. First of all, there are
less variety of jobs in Correct subject-verb agreement
is
villages
and Correct article usage
the work-forces
work-forces
Correct your spelling
workforce
need
to be really hard working and strong to be able to deal with agriculture and other related jobs. Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
Secondly
, for that amount of work-load
the workers get Add a comma
work-load,
paied
less compared with the similar working hours in the Correct your spelling
paid
cities
. Therefore
, more and more rural people get settled in the cities
everyday
. Replace the word
every day
In addition
, another significant factor is the better living facilities in most aspects of life in cities
such
as a better transportation system and definietly
a more advanced educational system.
Correct your spelling
definitely
On the other hand
, this
issue have
some detrimental impacts on Change the verb form
has
the
both Remove the article
apply
cities
and urban areas
. One of the most important disadvantages is that in the long-term there will be less work-forces in the rural areas
so the economy of the villages
and the farming industry will be damaged. For instance
, the production of the
fresh fruits, vegetables and other farming products will be reduced and Correct article usage
apply
as a
result
the prices of those will Add a comma
result,
raise
dramatically. Correct your spelling
rise
Moreover
, the population in the cities
will increase significantly and this
over population
will in turn put more pressure on the resources Correct your spelling
overpopulation
due to
the evergrowing demands. Accordingly
, governments must take some measures to prevent this
.
To summarize, nowadays, an increasing number of rural residents migrate to the cities
due to
the lack of facilities in the villages
and the better opportunities in the cities
. But, this
is damaging for the
both Remove the article
apply
cities
and urban areas
. So, to avoid this
, governments ought to seek some solutions.Submitted by bryan.dasco on
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Task Achievement
While your essay presents a clear argument, including more diverse and specific examples to support your points would enhance the depth and persuasiveness of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more varied use of linking phrases and cohesive devices to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider developing your ideas more thoroughly. Expanding on how the issues you mention directly impact rural and urban areas would add depth to your analysis.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a clear opinion on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You have successfully highlighted both the reasons for migration and its impacts, showing a good understanding of the issue at hand.