IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that the major factor
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 learning a
language
Use synonyms
 is to travel or to work.
However
Linking Words
, others totally disagree with the statement by saying that there are more crucial
reasons
Use synonyms
 to learn
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, both above-mentioned views will be discussed, concluding with my own opinion. A commonly held belief is that
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 purpose
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is
travelling
Change the verb form
to travel
show examples
also
Linking Words
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 in well-developed companies. As evidence of
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 they point to
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 all night long to break boundaries and fear of learning
Use synonyms
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
then
Linking Words
 afterwards you will get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
freedom of speech, fluency
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 speaking in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various places,
you
Correct word choice
and you
show examples
 will have a second window to look up.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
language
Use synonyms
 is
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 communication tool. Many businesses go easier when
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 speak in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 mother-tongue
language
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 country. It could be explained by the fact that in Turkey taxi drivers always trick tourists by counting
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 incorrectly.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, when it comes to
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
 and people who speak well in Turkish drivers even drop the prices down.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people claim that travel and work
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
reasons
Use synonyms
 to learn
Use synonyms
language
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, they may mention that
language
Use synonyms
 gives the opportunity to get close
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
show examples
 and traditions of
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
,
promotes
Correct word choice
and promotes
show examples
 the development of thinking, imagination and memory. The explanation lies
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the fact that learning for the sake of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional growth and gaining higher status is not essential when there are health
reasons
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, improving health is more important for other people. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would argue that work and travelling
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not the main purpose of learning
Use synonyms
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
 when the health
reasons
Use synonyms
 are 
in discuss
Change preposition
discussed
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it. Your introduction does so effectively, laying a good foundation for your discussion.
Detail
Expand on your main points with more detailed examples. While you've mentioned a scenario involving taxi drivers in Turkey, adding more varied examples could strengthen your argument.
Clarity
Strive to avoid repetition. In places, similar statements are made more than once, which could detract from the clarity of your argument. Synthesize your points for greater impact.
Grammar
Keep an eye on sentence structure and punctuation for clarity. Correct use of punctuation helps in making your essay more readable and understandable.
Conclusion
End your essay with a substantial conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also reflects a clear opinion. Your conclusion does this well, reinforcing your stance effectively.
Task Response
You've succeeded in discussing both sides of the argument, as the prompt required.
Coherence
You've used a clear structure that guides the reader through your argument coherently.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, making your stance and summary clear.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: