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Band 6.5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #climate #change
As
people
's awareness of environmental protection declines, some
people
 think that we need to find a
way
 to live with
climate
change
 rather than prevent it.
However
, I consider that
people
 need to focus on how to prevent
climate
change
. First of all, finding a method to live with it could result in a waste of financial and human resources. A wonderful method to enable
people
 to live with adverse weather conditions means that it requires more technological support and economic support, potentially leading to significant financial and manpower resources being expended.
Furthermore
, it is uncertain whether the method would be successful. It's obvious that technological development is not mature enough now, on
this
 basis, it is difficult to find a perfect solution to tackle
this
 problem.
Consequently
, there are various negative impacts on finding a
way
 to live with
climate
 rather than preventing it from happening. Looking at it from another perspective, there are
also
 some significant effects of
climate
change
, which severely impact society.
For example
, drought conditions severely impact crop yields,
while
 some stormy weather can cause extensive damage to infrastructure and loss of personal property.
Such
 destruction seriously impacts human lives and economic development.
Additionally
,
due to
this
 decision
people
 don't avoid
climate
change
, which probably leads to more destruction of the environment. The reason is that
people
's awareness of environmental conservation becomes weaker as they consider that there is always a
way
 to handle the problem rather than
they face
Wrong verb form
facing
show examples
 the problem themselves, though the issue is caused by themselves. In conclusion,
although
 some
people
 think that we need to find a
way
 to live with
climate
change
 rather than prevent it, I still think that
people
 need to focus on how to prevent
climate
change
.
Submitted by 351668116 on

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Introduction
Ensure stronger introduction of main ideas in the introduction to guide the reader smoothly into your argument.
Supporting Details
Develop and expand examples more clearly to support your main points. Providing specific evidence or scenarios could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Response
You've presented a clear stance on the issue which is consistent throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
You did well in including both sides of the argument, which helps in thoroughly addressing the essay prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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