Nowadays, many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children？
Nowadays, Rapidly increasing
in
technological advancement Change preposition
apply
make
our life Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
more
easier. Most of the people have access to Change the word
apply
computer
. because of that, Some of the Add an article
a computer
the computer
children's
Change noun form
children
is
addicted to Correct subject-verb agreement
are
video
games
. In this
essay, I will discuss why playing games
can boost our brain
and memory power and why it can eventually be disadvantageous if we paly
too much.
Gaming is really Correct your spelling
play
workout
for our mind disguised Correct article usage
a workout
a
fun. Studies have shown that playing Correct your spelling
as
video
games
regularly may increase gray
matter in Change the spelling
grey
brain
and boost Add an article
the brain
brain
connectivity. Most people play video
game
for entertainment Fix the agreement mistake
games
purpose
. In Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
this
contemporary world, people's
are so busy they do not have time for outdoor Change noun form
people
games
so, they prefer to play video
games
. It is best for killing time and best
refreshment for them.
Correct article usage
the best
On the other hand
, Playing video
games
has some disadavantages
too. Playing Correct your spelling
disadvantages
video
game
too much Fix the agreement mistake
games
make
us addicted to Change the verb form
makes
games
and this
may effect
our daily routine. Various Studies Correct your spelling
affect
shows
that Playing too Correct subject-verb agreement
show
much
computer Correct quantifier usage
many
games
causes physical damages
and Fix the agreement mistake
damage
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
anxeity
and depression. Correct your spelling
anxiety
Historycially
speaking, Correct your spelling
Historically
children's
who are addicted to Change noun form
children
video
games
have high
Add an article
a high
heart beat
and blood pressure Correct your spelling
heartbeat
due to
too much excitement and stress.
Finally
, This
essay argued that playing games
can boost our brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
while
playing too much game cause
mental and physical problems. In my opinion, playing video
games
for short
period of time will Add an article
a short
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
children's
.Change noun form
children
Submitted by bibekluitel758 on
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Structure
Try to maintain a clear and direct structure in your essay. Organizing your paragraphs more coherently will help your argument to flow more logically.
Introduction/Conclusion
Work on a clearer introduction and conclusion. Make sure your thesis statement and your final stance are explicit.
Specific Examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. Examples make your claims more convincing and are essential for a high score.
Grammar/Spelling
Be mindful of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as these can make your essay harder to understand. While small inaccuracies have been overlooked, continual improvement in accuracy will enhance your overall communication.
Balanced Argument
You've done well to address both sides of the argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games.
Content Understanding
Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic and an attempt to discuss relevant ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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