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Writing Samples
Band 4

The map below shows a park and its surroundings in 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The map below shows a park and its surroundings in 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#park #surroundings #information #features #comparisons
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The information about the modifications made to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Grange
Park
 from
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 till now is depicted by the given picture chart. The data is calibrated in the form of
pictorial
Correct article usage
a pictorial
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 representation.
Overall
, the area under Grange
park
Capitalize word
Park
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 underwent several changes and a lot of developments can be noticed. In the past,
on
Change preposition
in
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 the west direction, there was a stage for musicians to perform and just opposite
to
Change preposition
apply
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it was a fountain in the centre of the
park
. On the adjacent sides of the stage, there were two rose gardens and the third rose
garden
 was located
on
Change preposition
in
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 the
north-east
Correct your spelling
northeast
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 direction and next to it, was a pond for water plants. With regard to
Correct article usage
the south-east
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south-east
Correct your spelling
southeast
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 side,
glasshouse
Correct article usage
a glasshouse
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 was seen located there. Now, the
park
 around the boundaries has only one rose
garden
 in the left top corner and
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 rose
garden
 in the north-east direction has been converted into a cafe. The old stage has been replaced by the Amphitheatre for concerts
along with
this
 sitting arrangements are made.
Also
, the fountain has been replaced by the bigger rose
garden
 which is surrounded by chairs for the visitors. The significant replacement of
glasshouse
Correct article usage
the glasshouse
show examples
 has been made with a water feature for decorative purposes.
Submitted by navkiranji on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, garden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pond
  • northwest corner
  • large central open area
  • residential areas
  • community-oriented space
  • playground
  • eastern border
  • parking lot
  • convenience
  • commercial zone
  • amenities
  • walking path
  • encircles
  • joggers
  • accessible
  • entrances
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