The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The graph illustrates the Australian employees by their job kinds and genders in

Add an article

the previous

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year. The professions are divided into 7 categories.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

male workers are dominating most of the scales. In terms of women, clerical is the most common job among them slightly more than males.

By contrast

Linking Words

, tradespeople and production are the occupations that are least worked by them.

Whereas

Linking Words

men

Use synonyms

are five-fold more than them in production and in

tradespeople

Add a comma

tradespeople,

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they are exactly 9 times more than females which is the job that they are most enrolled in.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the occupation that they worked the least is labourers where the females are slightly lower than them.

Moreover

Linking Words

manager

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the manager

a manager

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is occupied by women 3 times lower than

men

Use synonyms

Subsequently

Linking Words

, professionals almost have no difference in them, but the numbers of

men

Use synonyms

are lower compared to females.

Finally

Linking Words

, semi-professionals are mostly occupied by

men

Use synonyms

where

Correct word choice

whereas

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women have a one-thrid decrease

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Submitted by buyabuya201 on Wed Apr 03 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words men with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

157 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

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The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. This accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Q. Traffic jams and long commutes have become the paradigm in big cities. Some people suggest that introducing alternative forms of transportation can help to reduce both of these problems while others affirm that investing in highway infrastructure would generate the same impact.

Nowadays youngsters are less polite and less respectful than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this issue?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Playing computer games only has negative effects on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree