IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.
#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution
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The given bar chart represents the average consumption of
water
 in six selected cities of Australia during the
last
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
previous year, and the supplied pie chart states the proportion of each destination of Australian
water
 distribution for the
last
 year
similarly
.
Overall
, it is
obviousely
Correct your spelling
obviously
 detectable that Perth was the highest
water
 consumer city,
while
 Canberra was the lowest one among selected areas. Agricultural activities were the most places which have used
water
 and mining
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed the least amount of
water
 in Australia. Focusing on details reveals that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Perth's residents use roughly 300 Kiloliter of
water
 annually per each property, and Conberrians by less than 150
Killoliter
Correct your spelling
Kiloliter
 per building in one year was the less
water
 consumer. Brisbane, Adelaide, Sydney, and Melbourne with 250, nearly 240, 200, and slightly less than 150
kiloliter
Change to a plural noun
kiloliters
show examples
 per property were in the next places for
anuulaly
Correct your spelling
annual
water
 usage, respectively. Diving
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 shows that 2% of whole distributed
water
 in Australia was used for mining which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 the lowest proportion. Agricultural usage had 67 per cent shares of total
water
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
among all Austrailian
sectores
Correct your spelling
sectors
.
Household
Fix the agreement mistake
Households
show examples
 stand
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 third place to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
water
 shares, with 9%.
Fourtheen
Correct your spelling
Four
 per cent of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
amonut
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
water
 was sent to
Water
Correct article usage
the Water
show examples
 and wastewater
managment
Correct your spelling
management
 sections
along with
 power
supliers
Correct your spelling
suppliers
supplies
. And a summation of distributed
water
 to manufacturing and other industries was 8%.
Submitted by enayatollahi.at on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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