Nowadays children spend lots of time watching television and playing conputers games. However, it does not help in improving children's mental abilities do you agree or disagree.

#children #lots #time #television #conputers #games #abilities

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Evidence suggests that, today children tend to spend their time on

electronical

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electronic

devices

such

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as TV and

computer based

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computer-based

show examples

gaming as a matter of habit.

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However

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However,

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some assert that these activities do not

effect

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affect

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their intelligence. I believe that the brain of

Use synonyms

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

can

be flourished

Wrong verb form

flourish

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

these hobbies owing to a number of compelling reasons.

To begin

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with, the most rational justification is that electronic game

equipments

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equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

and TV can be instructive.

That is

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, the young ones who

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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encounter

with

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apply

show examples

TV programs and video games

ferequently

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frequently

, learn new skills unconsciously. A good illustration of

this

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is, learning

second

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a second

show examples

language through

out

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apply

show examples

cartoons and games which are provided in

other country

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another country

other countries

show examples

This

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phenomenon leads to children learning

while

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they are entertained.

Furthermore

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this

Linking Words

behaviour may reduce stress and

axiety

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anxiety

among

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youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

. In

this

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modern world children are

effected

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affected

show examples

by mental

deseases

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diseases

like adults and watching an exciting television show or a stimulating video game can

realse

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relieve

their stress and make them feel more

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

and relief. Yet, another compelling argument is that

Use synonyms

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

who use

electronical

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electronic

gadgets to spend their time are more likely to respond

toward

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real life

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real-life

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problems. To put it differently, most of these hobbies

are included

Wrong verb form

include

show examples

hard tasks to do and usually are mentally demanding,

therefore

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;

strengthen

Wrong verb form

strengthening

show examples

the youngs' mind.

For instance

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their self-confidence

increaces

Correct your spelling

increases

increase

after achieving the final stage of a competitive computer game so they feel, they are good enough to take responsibility

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for

show examples

almost every issue in their life.

To sum up

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, considering the points discussed above, the most rational conclusion to be drawn is that, new entertainment

equipments

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equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

causes

Use synonyms

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

to be

ammused

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amused

and

also

Linking Words

flourish.

This

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is mainly

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

they boost the young ones'

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

and give them

this

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opportunity to live better.

Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on Wed Apr 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

Focus on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and sophistication.

task achievement

Integrate a wider range of vocabulary specific to the topic to enhance clarity and precision.

task achievement

Consider providing more concrete examples or citing studies to strengthen your arguments.

general

Pay attention to spelling and grammar to ensure your essay is polished and professional.

coherence cohesion

You've presented a well-structured essay that effectively addresses the prompt.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear, directly linking back to the essay's main points.

task achievement

You've successfully included relevant examples and reasons to support your viewpoint.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Passive activities
Active learning
Problem-solving
Addictive
Attention spans
Educational tasks
Screen time
Academic performance
Intellectual development
Cognitive skills
Critical thinking
Imagination
Creativity
Controlled exposure
Curated content

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Nowadays children spend lots of time watching television and playing conputers games. However, it does not help in improving children's mental abilities do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that we should not study history, as it has little or nothing to tell us. Do you agree or disagree.

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve the crime. Do you agree or disagree?