Nowadays children spend lots of time watching television and playing conputers games. However, it does not help in improving children's mental abilities do you agree or disagree.

#children #lots #time #television #conputers #games #abilities

Evidence suggests that, today children tend to spend their time on

electronical

Correct your spelling

electronic

devices

such

as TV and

computer based

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computer-based

show examples

gaming as a matter of habit.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

some assert that these activities do not

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

their intelligence. I believe that the brain of

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

can

be flourished

Wrong verb form

flourish

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

these hobbies owing to a number of compelling reasons.

To begin

with, the most rational justification is that electronic game

equipments

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equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

and TV can be instructive.

That is

, the young ones who

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

encounter

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

TV programs and video games

ferequently

Correct your spelling

frequently

, learn new skills unconsciously. A good illustration of

this

is, learning

second

Add an article

a second

show examples

language through

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cartoons and games which are provided in

other country

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another country

other countries

show examples

This

phenomenon leads to children learning

while

they are entertained.

Furthermore

this

behaviour may reduce stress and

axiety

Correct your spelling

anxiety

among

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

. In

this

modern world children are

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

by mental

deseases

Correct your spelling

diseases

like adults and watching an exciting television show or a stimulating video game can

realse

Correct your spelling

relieve

their stress and make them feel more

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

and relief. Yet, another compelling argument is that

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

who use

electronical

Correct your spelling

electronic

gadgets to spend their time are more likely to respond

toward

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

problems. To put it differently, most of these hobbies

are included

Wrong verb form

include

show examples

hard tasks to do and usually are mentally demanding,

therefore

;

strengthen

Wrong verb form

strengthening

show examples

the youngs' mind.

For instance

their self-confidence

increaces

Correct your spelling

increases

increase

after achieving the final stage of a competitive computer game so they feel, they are good enough to take responsibility

Change preposition

for

show examples

almost every issue in their life.

To sum up

, considering the points discussed above, the most rational conclusion to be drawn is that, new entertainment

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

causes

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

to be

ammused

Correct your spelling

amused

and

also

flourish.

This

is mainly

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

they boost the young ones'

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

and give them

this

opportunity to live better.

Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on Wed Apr 03 2024

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general

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Passive activities
Active learning
Problem-solving
Addictive
Attention spans
Educational tasks
Screen time
Academic performance
Intellectual development
Cognitive skills
Critical thinking
Imagination
Creativity
Controlled exposure
Curated content

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Nowadays children spend lots of time watching television and playing conputers games. However, it does not help in improving children's mental abilities do you agree or disagree.

In major cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a serious problem. How can this problem be tackled? Give reasons and examples from your own experience

One of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing numbers of spesific come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity?