robots and artificial intellience are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. why is this happening? do you think this will have positive or negative impact on society?
Because of the development of
technology
era, Correct article usage
the technology
people
try
to invent more and more Wrong verb form
are trying
technology
things to serve the demand. Replace the word
technological
However
, it must be emphasized this
Verb problem
has
happened
give negative side, the Add the particle
happened to
over growing
of artificial Add a hyphen
over-growing
intelligent
can bring Replace the word
intelligence
people
to
Change preposition
apply
unemployment
.
Looking at Replace the word
unemployed
first
point, it Add an article
the first
a first
can be
obvious Wrong verb form
is
to say
that Verb problem
apply
population
around the world depend on technology devices and Correct article usage
the population
robot
is the most common assistance to help Add an article
the robot
a robot
human
for many purposes. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
For instance
, some high-tech robots
can support office-worker about
statistics and give an exact number for Correct your spelling
office workers in
this
job. Moreover
, it can be taken that people
use robots
to clean the house, wash dishes and tidy up the room to save time and money instead
of rent
Wrong verb form
renting
people
.
In contrast
, people
need to face with
unemployment if Change preposition
apply
robots
continue to develop and alter people
Change noun form
people's
life
. The money that Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
earn per month will decrease sharply and this
nation turn into
poor. Many countries Change preposition
apply
over focus
on making artificial can easy to fall down Add a hyphen
over-focus
the
income.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
robots
not
only Add a missing verb
are not
the
good goods but Correct article usage
apply
also
the
risky Correct article usage
apply
one
.Correct pronoun usage
ones
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logical structure
To improve your score, it's essential to structure your essay more clearly by employing a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This structure helps in guiding your readers smoothly through your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Try to introduce your essay with a more engaging opening sentence that clearly states the topic being discussed and your position on it. This sets a clear direction for your essay.
supported main points
While you've presented arguments on both sides, incorporating more specific examples and evidence can enhance the support for your main points, making your argument more persuasive.
complete response
For a higher score, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. This means discussing both the reasons for the trend and its impacts, as well as clearly stating your own opinion on whether it's positive or negative.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim to present your ideas more clearly and directly, avoiding general statements. Clearly articulated ideas help in making your essay comprehensive and engaging.
relevant specific examples
Integrating more specific and relevant examples will bolster your arguments. Real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios can make your viewpoints more relatable and convincing.
balanced discussion
Your essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, which is a good approach for a balanced discussion.
use of examples
You've made a good attempt to provide examples, such as robots assisting in offices and household chores, to support your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
