Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
believe strict
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
while
driving
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
essential in order to rule out
accidentally
Change the word
accidental
show examples
crashes
in
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on
show examples
tje
Correct your spelling
the
road
while
others assume
beside
Change preposition
that besides
show examples
making
rules
it is way much better to enhance
safetiness
Correct your spelling
safety
while
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
road
. Personally, I choose
replacing
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to replace
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road
's environmental
damaged
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damage
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
important to reduce any
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
. On one hand, strict punishments
while
driving will allow
people
to avoid
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
violation
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violations
show examples
regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
that eventually can cause harm effects to the surrounding population forward, and building
rules
to protect the
sidewalker
Correct your spelling
sidewalk
will genuinely help them
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
feel
more safe
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safer
show examples
while
doing their daily activities.
Additionally
, It will be more
advantage
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advantageous
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for
driver
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drivers
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due to
not only
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
a safe ecosystem for
sidewalker
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sidewalkers
show examples
but
also
they can able to protect themselves from any harmful situation in the
road
ahead.
On the other hand
, Some
people
tend to pick fixing some
road
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roads
show examples
for safety purposes preferred so much. Having a good facility
such
as
clear
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the clear
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sign for
driver
Add an article
the driver
a driver
show examples
, wider space for
sidewalker
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sidewalks
sidewalk
and
driver
, and
also
giving better travel experiences would be a good
opportunities
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opportunity
show examples
to make both of them feel more convenient.
Moreover
,
this
effort can
decline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
number of
traffic
in some areas, particularly in the cities.
For instance
,
in
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
capital city like Indonesia has
a tons
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tons
a ton
show examples
of
traffic
everywhere
due to
lack
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a lack
show examples
of facilities for the
driver
,
however
,
this
could
be solve
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be solved
show examples
if the government chose to put more attention
for
Change preposition
to
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improving
road
safety,
also
this
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be beneficial for the environment in a long term. In conclusion, I still stick with the assumption
of
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that
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carrying out changes along the
road
will
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long term
instead
of stricter
rules
to drive for
people
because of
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduces
show examples
traffic
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
some places and
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
convenient in some way for each
sidewalker
or
driver
. In my opinion,
people
tend to break the
rules
especially when they
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not really convinced by their way
while
driving home.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and relevant supporting details. This sharpens your argument and makes your viewpoint more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Try to provide specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. This makes your essay more convincing and engaging.
task achievement
You successfully discussed both views on how to improve road safety, showing your ability to engage with complex ideas.
coherence cohesion
You maintained a clear position throughout the essay, which is essential for a coherent argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • reckless driving
  • heavy fines
  • loss of driving privileges
  • imprisonment
  • dissuade
  • awareness campaigns
  • road safety
  • drive responsibly
  • traffic management systems
  • road signage
  • street lighting
  • dedicated lanes
  • technological advancements
  • automatic braking systems
  • blind-spot monitoring
  • lane departure warnings
  • comprehensive approach
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