IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The disappearance of various types of plants and
animals
Use synonyms
seem
Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
show examples
 to be the most urgent environmental
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
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 our society.
While
Linking Words
 some people believe that many other environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 are in an emergency to
due
Correct your spelling
do
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 with.My stance is that biodiversity imbalance is not the most difficult problem of the world and the more important
problems
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as air pollution
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 an immediate provision. Admittedly, there is evidence suggesting how
harm
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
Correct article usage
the disappearing
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disappearing
Replace the word
disappearance
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 of several plants and
animals
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 doing to the
environment
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.
This
Linking Words
 can be seen in the extinction of natural habitats and many animal species
due to
Linking Words
 deforestation and poaching, resulting in the disruption of the balance of nature and destabilization of ecosystems.
Such
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problems
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, are caused by maladroit governments that either overlook the importance of the
environment
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 or the repercussions of their inaction because of a thriving economy.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
environment
Use synonyms
 could still be protected if
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 posed more
strictly
Change the word
strict
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 regulations
such
Linking Words
 as hefty fines, sentenced individuals who break the laws to
jails
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jail
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 and encouraged organizations and citizens to raise
fund
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funds
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open
Fix the infinitive
to open
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zoo
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zoos
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 to preserve rare
animals
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 or plant more trees. I am convinced that air pollution in cities is the most urgent threat all over the world. It might be caused by vehicle
emission
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emissions
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 and industrial activities.
For example
Linking Words
, traffic congestion and the burning of fossil fuels in vehicles release pollutants
such
Linking Words
 as carbon monoxide into the atmosphere.
In addition
Linking Words
, the process of manufacture and the activity of industry emit pollutants
such
Linking Words
 as sulfur dioxide and nitrogen oxides. These pollutants can,
hence
Linking Words
, harm the degradation of the
environment
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 ,causing climate
changes
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change
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is particularly true in the case of
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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today’s earth where we suffer from various tremendous disasters
such
Linking Words
 as
flood
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floods
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,
tsunami
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tsunamis
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,
earthquake
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earthquakes
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 and
drought
Fix the agreement mistake
droughts
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due to
Linking Words
 climate changes, directly affecting human life.These
problems
Use synonyms
 are way far earnest
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments can not
forbidden
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forbid
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 people
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
transporting
Change the verb form
transport
show examples
 and halt manufacturing activities cause it will negatively affect the development of the world economy. In conclusion, I believe that the urgency of solving the loss of
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 protect the world’s biodiversity,
however
Linking Words
, air pollution is more necessary for governments to tackle and to find solutions since it affects human life.

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction to directly address the essay prompt. This helps to clarify your position from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to separate your ideas. Each paragraph should deal with a single main idea, supported by examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and coherence. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more dynamic.
coherence cohesion
Improve clarity by being more concise in your explanations. Avoid overly complex sentences and ensure that your ideas are clearly expressed.
task achievement
Ensure the relevance of your examples by tying them directly back to the main argument. Each example should clearly support your viewpoint.
general
Carefully proofread your essay for grammatical and spelling errors. While a few minor errors are acceptable, make sure they do not hinder the understanding of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to link your ideas between paragraphs and sentences. This enhances the flow of your essay and helps in maintaining coherence.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed both views of the argument before stating your own opinion, showcasing a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
The conclusion successfully summarizes your argument and reiterates your opinion, which is key for strong task achievement.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant examples that support your arguments, adding depth to your discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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