The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Write at least 150 words.

#bar #five #industries’ #percentage #brazil’s #economy #forecast

The bar chart provides key information about five industries, which support the economic status in Brazil across three different years. The units are measured in percentages.

Overall

, it can be seen that

finance

Correct article usage

the finance

show examples

sector is the most significant one, as it provides the highest ratio of

to the economy throughout the given time.

In addition

, finance accounted for the biggest proportion of

,in 2019,

whereas

the lowest percentage of

was

due to

manufacturing in the same year.

According to

what is shown, finance started, at roughly 32%, in 2009 and increased gradually to just over 35%, in 2019. After that, it is expected to

rose

Wrong verb form

rise

show examples

to about 42%, in 2029. Food processing contributed by around 20% of

, in 2020, which was about twice

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

its ratio, in 2009.

In addition

, it is predicted to decline to approximately 10%, in 2029. In terms of oil, coal and gas, they represented about a third percentage of

around 33%, in 2019, which was higher than its

, in 2009 by

nealy

Correct your spelling

nearly

7%.

Also

, it is expected to drop again to 25%, in 2029.

Submitted by sm710129 on Wed Apr 03 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words shares with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

185 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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