IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some cities although more and more people use public transport the roads are still crowded. How can this problem solved? provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#cities #people #transport #roads #support
Today city
people
use
 various types of
transportation
 to go to work, grocery shopping, bringing their children to school or college, travel, etc. They used either public
transportation
 or private cars.
Although
 the
number
 of
people
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 public
transportation
 for their commutes has increased, the roads still face lots of
vehicles
.
First,
the reason why the streets are still crowded is the fixed structure and
number
 of streets that can accommodate a fixed
number
 of
vehicles
,
while
 at the same time increasing the
number
 of private
vehicles
due to
 the increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
city population.
Therefore
, despite more usage of public
transportation
,
people
 still suffering from
traffic
 jams. So, the first act I suggest is a government rule to limit the
number
 of
vehicles
 each family holds. Research by Summit University shows that in London, the city suffers from
traffic
 congestion, each family have approximately 1.8
vehicles
. So, the government must limit
this
 rate to one by law.
Second,
people
 are comfortable using their own car for their commute. Lack of the
number
 of bus or tramp stations, large distance from the origin to the station and long waiting time are the main reasons that someone prefers to
use
 his private car.
Also
, most workers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
live in suburbs and public
transportation
 in suburbs is not developed properly. I suggest increasing the
number
 of bus stations outside downtown and in
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
, strengthening the fleets and offering discounts for those
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 going to or
return
Wrong verb form
returning
show examples
 from school or college
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 in the morning
traffic
 peak. In conclusion, the government rules or development of public
transportation
 may decrease private cars on urban roads, but the
traffic
 problems are solved with urban culture. Despite setting laws to force
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to not
use
 private cars, culture could make using buses and tramps their first choice.
Submitted by hamid.mansouri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Try to make your introduction and conclusion stronger and more engaging by presenting a clear thesis statement and summarizing your main points more distinctly. This will enhance your reader's overall understanding and satisfaction.
relevant specific examples
Continue providing relevant examples to support your main points, but strive to integrate more specific data or case studies if possible. This would make your arguments even more convincing.
logical structure
Your essay is well-organized, exhibiting a clear logical structure, which makes it easy to follow. Good job on ensuring your paragraphs flow seamlessly into each other.
supported main points
You've done a great job of supporting your main points with relevant reasoning and examples. This strengthens your argument significantly.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, making your stance on the issue plain and convincing to the reader. Keep up the clear expression of your thoughts!

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public transport, congestion, urban planning, pedestrian zones, bike lanes, financial incentives, disincentives, traffic flow, tolls, awareness campaigns, environmental benefits, seamless connections, smart technologies, real-time tracking, contactless payments, environmentally friendly
What to do next:
Look at other essays: