The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014

#change #prices #three #metals

The line graph illustrates the average monthly cost fluctuations of Copper,

Nickel

Zinc

Correct word choice

and Zinc

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

2014.

Overall

, all three metals displayed a significant downward trend first 6

months

Subsequently

, other half of the year they experienced growth gradually. When we look at the chart it is revealed that ,

Nickel

prices experienced the most significant decline in

first

Correct article usage

the first

show examples

three

months

of the year , which after had dipped again in May to -4%.

Subsequently

, by July it experienced a sharp increase by growing 3%. Followed

months

Nickel

remained stable at -1% . By the end of the

year

Add a comma

year,

show examples

nickel

demonstrated some fluctuations and ended at 1

percent

On the other hand

, there is Zinc ,

that

Correct word choice

which

show examples

after a significant jump to 3

percent

fell gradually by 3

percent

. Followed

months

zinc displayed a slight growth till September. By

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

October it experienced

Remove the article

apply

show examples

rapid growth to 2

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

However

, Copper remained steady over an anniversary by experiencing only 1 fluctuation in June ,

Correct pronoun usage

which grew

show examples

grew

Wrong verb form

growing

show examples

slightly to 3

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

Submitted by elnur.adil on Thu Apr 04 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "subsequently".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words nickel, months, percent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "displayed" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

172 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

average monthly change
prices of metals
trend
spike
fluctuation
increase
decrease
sharp rise
sharp fall
stability
volatility
data points
comparison
contrast
external factors
influences
market dynamics

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The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A young person will start work at your office next month to gain work experience. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter •inform him/her about the work that needs to be done at the office; •explain what he/she is supposed to do on the first day; •suggest what he/she should bring to work.

Society now has the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world, due to the improvement of automation. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people find it difficult to manage their money. How could the government help prevent debt problems and support such people.

These days people in some countries are living in a “throwaway” society which means people use things in a short time then throw them away. What do you think is the cause and what problem will it lead to?