IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society

#robots #intelligence #humans #workplace #impact #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the digital age, automatic products
suchs
Correct your spelling
such
 as robots and artificial
intelligencevhas
Correct your spelling
intelligence
 soared and gradually
undertakes
Correct subject-verb agreement
undertake
show examples
 responsibilities
instead
humans
Correct word choice
of humans
show examples
 in the work areas. The primary reason
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
business managers have a
tendancy
Correct your spelling
tendency
about choosing
Change preposition
to choose
show examples
 robots for heavy
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. In light of
this
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 contend that
this
 trend has
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 effects on
speed
Add an article
the speed
show examples
 of production and
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
 physical toils to the cliff. It is important to acknowledge that
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 perspective on physical
forcement
Correct your spelling
enforcement
quite
Add a missing verb
is quite
show examples
 low,
whereas
 intelligent retrieval has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 counterpart position in
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
 of society. Their advantages are undeniable and unexpected , they can do works which human seems like hardly ever do the same,
also
 with the ability superior to fundamental
proffessional
Correct your spelling
professional
 skills,
therefore
 can able to see their vital roles
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 people's day. Japan is now running
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mass mechanized
Add a hyphen
mass-mechanized
show examples
 restaurants
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 passengers
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 allowed to order automatically without any man-made steps.
Additionally
,
along with
 the development of
neutral
Correct your spelling
neural
show examples
 networks and machines, the priority of wisdom
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
show examples
increasinglyobvious
Correct your spelling
increasingly obvious
, it may lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher
acquirements
Fix the agreement mistake
acquirement
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 education. In fact, with
latest
Change the article
the latest
show examples
 technology, physical
toils
Correct your spelling
soil
show examples
 sources gradually do not exist. anymore
instead
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
mechanic engines will ensure productivity perfectly.
For instance
, in modern houses,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
owners can run facilities inside through voice or smartphones and even turn on a horn without any security whenever burglars break into the house.
Therefore
, technology exerts
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
considerable pressure on low-awareness citizens,
however
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
 face, it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 abilities to form a better future that can boost productivity and modernize
nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Use
Try to avoid spelling and grammatical errors to improve clarity. For instance, 'automatic products suchs as' could be corrected to 'such as' and 'intelligent retrieval has the counterpart position in eyes of society' can be clarified for better understanding.
Logical Structure
Enhance the clarity of your main ideas by structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure helps to guide the reader through your argument.
Supported Main Points
Incorporate specific examples and details to support your points. While you mention 'mass mechanized restaurants in Japan,' providing more concrete information or statistics can strengthen your argument.
Coherence
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of the paragraph. This will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Language Use
Consider refining the use of complex sentence structures to enhance the fluency of your writing. Practicing compound and complex sentences can aid in delivering your ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
You engaged with the topic and provided clear opinions on the impact of robotics and AI on society, demonstrating good task achievement.
Relevant Specific Examples
You made an effort to provide examples, such as 'mass mechanized restaurants in Japan,' to support your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Cost-effective
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancements
  • Job displacement
  • Economic disparity
  • Dependency
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Ethical concerns
  • Moral questions
  • Standard of living
  • Income gap
  • Widespread automation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: