IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write about the following topic: In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#topic #countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation
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Across the globe,
Correct article usage
the unemplyment
show examples
unemplyment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 rate is growing day by day.
This
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
 argues that there are many literate
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
 available whose graduation
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 are higher than many average
people
Use synonyms
 and yet not getting
ant
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
. The two main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem are lack of practical
experience
Use synonyms
 and not fulfilling the requirements of
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
the job
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market
Use synonyms
. First and foremost, most of the student's target is to get the certificate from the institution just to get a
job
Use synonyms
 which is the main reason
not
Change preposition
for not
show examples
 getting the real skill by completing graduation that the
job
Use synonyms
market
Use synonyms
 needs.
Aditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
graduation
Correct article usage
a graduation
show examples
 certificate is just a show off for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students nowadays to get some respect in
this
Linking Words
 society which is
reallly
Correct your spelling
really
 not
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
 if they don't apply the
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 they learned in their practical life.
For instance
Linking Words
, a higher proportion of unemployed
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 blame the government for
this
Linking Words
 problem
whereas
Linking Words
 they are mostly responsible for their own lackings which is like the
people
Use synonyms
 who can't dance, but
blames
Correct subject-verb agreement
blame
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 the floor for that.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
major
Add an article
a major
the major
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 part of unemployed
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 that just a higher level certificate is needed to get a good
job
Use synonyms
 by not researching the
job
Use synonyms
market
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they just deny the
job
Use synonyms
 of lower salary & the opportunity of having an unpaid internship.
However
Linking Words
, they are not concerned about their future which makes them
to losing
Wrong verb form
lose
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 the opportunity of gaining
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 on their own.
For instance
Linking Words
,
nearlly
Correct your spelling
nearly
 all of the company with high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 requires
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
2
Change preposition
of 2
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years of
job
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 which is not suitable for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who aren't eager to gain
experience
Use synonyms
 from a
low salary
Add a hyphen
low-salary
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providing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
company.
To conclude
Linking Words
, lack of
experience
Use synonyms
 in their
job
Use synonyms
 field and not matching the profile of the
job
Use synonyms
market
Use synonyms
 required are the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 not getting jobs.
Submitted by tanakchakma55 on

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Structure
Ensure that your essay is clearly structured with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion, and try to use a variety of sentence structures to improve readability.
Accuracy
Be cautious of typographical and grammatical errors. The consistent presence of such errors can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Relevance
Make sure to directly answer the prompt by discussing both causes of graduate unemployment and suggesting specific solutions, ensuring that your ideas are both clear and directly relevant to the topic.
Support
Use specific examples to back up your claims. Real-world examples or personal experiences can significantly strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
Engagement
You've engaged with the essay topic effectively, providing both causes of the issue and suggestions for addressing it.
Structure
The essay structure includes both an introductory and concluding paragraph, establishing a clear framework for your discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic downturns
  • qualified graduates
  • employment generation
  • academic qualifications
  • practical experience
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeship programs
  • entrepreneurship
  • education reform
  • continuous learning
  • technological advancements
  • skill development
  • job market
  • skill gap
  • policy reform
  • subsidies
  • emerging sectors
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