IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The number of
crimes
Use synonyms
 is increasing day by day at an alarming rate. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 many
crimes
Use synonyms
 causes and their solutions. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss crime reasons and their solutions. First of all,
crimes
Use synonyms
 can originate many things
such
Linking Words
 as unemployment. To be more specific,
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from unemployment, and it is able to be
causing
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
crimes
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in some countries, individuals try to rob something, which is money, phones and so on, from
people
Use synonyms
 for
living
Add an article
a living
show examples
. With regard to solution, there is a big issue which is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of permanent workplaces. The
government
Use synonyms
 should provide citizen dwellers with the majority of workplaces. If the
government
Use synonyms
 pay attention
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
 factor, most
people
Use synonyms
 will have
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Individuals will focus on their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and, the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
 more and more will decline in the future. Another
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
main reason is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 lack of knowledge about laws
as well as
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of education. To elaborate, sometimes youngsters are not aware of the results of any criminal activity, and it leads to
crimes
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as every person can do any kind of harsh action
for example
Linking Words
 kill and slab.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should provide individuals with fundamental rules
due to
Linking Words
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the
government
Use synonyms
 ought to give education,
people
Use synonyms
 will have enough information about punishments.
As a result
Linking Words
, it will prevent
crimes
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
crimes
Use synonyms
 are more and more rise. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 two main causes and solutions. The
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 will decline the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
 in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentence Structure
Try to use a variety of sentence structures to enhance readability.
Vocabulary
Using synonyms can help avoid repetition and make your essay more interesting.
Grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos.
Examples
Integrating more specific examples to support your points can strengthen your argument and task achievement score.
Introduction and Conclusion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively bookending your essay.
Structure
Good job in structuring your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: