In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.

In the majority of parts of the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
there is a profitable store for
products
which lighten or whiten individuals’
skin
. The number of
people
who buy these
products
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
increasing day by day at an alarming rate. In
this
essay, I will discuss
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
and their effects. First of all, lack of self-confidence can cause using
products
which lighten or whiten
people
’s
skin
. To elaborate, especially nowadays some individuals face confidence issues
due to
their
skin
of faces.
As a result
,
people
try to use some
products
in order to seemlier beautiful in society. These
products
can detrimental impact on
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
health. To be more specific, sometimes
people
’s
skin
can be
allergy
Replace the word
allergic
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to
products
, and it has the opportunity to
affecting
Change the verb
affect
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human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
health.
Moreover
,
people
are capable of suffering from
skin
diseases
due to
allergy
Fix the agreement mistake
allergies
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and
this
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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turn can lead
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
variety consequences. Another reason is that promoting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
products
is the key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success. To be more specific, companies are capable of booming messages about their
products
for
skin
and it can cause buying and utilizing
products
by buyers. With regard to effect, buyers may not even be able to control financial stability and it is in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
turn
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
able to
affecting
Change the verb
affect
show examples
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
in income in the future.
Hence
,
people
are capable of experiencing financial hardship. In conclusion, in most areas of the world,
products
that lighten and whiten
people
’s
skin
are acquired from a profitable market by individuals. There are the main 2 reasons and their effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
health and society.
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logical structure
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introduction conclusion present
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supported main points
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clear comprehensive ideas
Work on clarifying your ideas and arguments. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your overall message is easy to understand.
relevant specific examples
Using specific, relevant examples strengthens your essay. You've begun to do this, but more detailed examples related to the effects on health and society will greatly improve your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The inclusion of an introduction and conclusion helps structure your essay well.
supported main points
You've made a good effort to support your main points. Further development of examples will enhance your argumentation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Skin lightening
  • Whitening products
  • Cultural standards
  • Beauty ideals
  • Media portrayal
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Colorism
  • Self-esteem
  • Toxic ingredients
  • Hydroquinone
  • Mercury
  • Melanin
  • Dermatological health
  • Consumer awareness
  • Regulatory bodies
  • Ethical marketing
  • Natural remedies
What to do next:
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