IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people today believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase in necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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It is assumed that the increasing global population has given rise to several critical issues, even as it has had a positive impact on economies.
On the other hand
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, it leads to the overuse of resources on the planet. I agree with the first statement
,
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apply
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 because growing world society means increasing the level of government,
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can control
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 efficiently. To commence, there has been a rapid increase in the global community, which demonstrates food shortages and pollution
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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. For, instance, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Asian countries have witnessed a significant increment in the number of infants.
Thus
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,
this
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 trend has led numerous parents to
bought
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buy
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 large quantities of milk powder, because of false
informations
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information
pieces of information
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, which
have
Wrong verb form
has been
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 shown on social media platforms.
Therefore
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,
this
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 has led to a scarcity of resources for
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 period.
In addition
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, social science experts assume that the enhanced annual garbage production leads to overusing of food packaging, as seen in countries like Kazakhstan.
Hence
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,
this
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 situation is a consequence of overpopulation.
Nevertheless
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, overpopulation is a significant source of negative impacts. Economic progress
also
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 has a positive effect on society.
For example
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, Australia actively welcomes individuals with potential and the willingness to migrate, as it aims to attract a substantial workforce.
As a result
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, cities like Melbourne and Sydney have grown into large, populous urban
centers
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centres
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due to
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 the relocation of numerous skilled workers. With the world's inhabitants steadily increasing,
this
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 advancement has the potential to boost the prosperity of cities. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned statements, I believe that
the
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apply
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large quantities of individuals will have a positive impact on the economy if governments and public authorities implement effective regulations and policies to manage
this
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 growth.

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structure
Ensure a clear introduction that outlines both views and your opinion to give the reader a roadmap of your essay.
examples
Provide more detailed, directly relevant examples to support each viewpoint more compellingly. Tie these examples back to the core argument explicitly.
transitions
Work on paragraph transitions to clearly show the connection between sections and points. Words like 'Furthermore', 'However', and 'Consequently' can guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
precision
Be careful with general statements that might not be fully supported by evidence within your essay. Specify and narrow down claims when possible.
balanced-argument
Your essay attempts to discuss both sides of the argument before stating your opinion, which is good practice.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and attempt to summarize the essay's main points, aiding structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overpopulation
  • Sustainable development
  • Resource depletion
  • Environmental degradation
  • Economic growth
  • Social stability
  • Workforce
  • Innovation
  • Living standards
  • Cultural diversity
  • Economic opportunities
  • Global crisis
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