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Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in Scotland for twenty years ago and last year.

The pie charts below show the amount of electricity generated by energy source in Scotland for twenty years ago and last year.
#show #amount #electricity #energy #source #scotland #twenty #years #year
The chart below illustrates
index
Correct article usage
the index
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 of electricity produced by different energy sources in Scotland for 20 years ago compared to
last
year
.
Overall
, in
this
 period
overhelming
Correct your spelling
overwhelming
 majority of electricity was created by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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coal. As can be seen from the chart, 20 years ago gas source was almost a quarter(22.3%),
while
last
year
this
 index
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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slightly decreased to
the
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apply
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21.7 per
cent
.
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 in the
past
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past,
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 almost one out of five(19.6%)
energy
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of energy
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 was made from
the
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apply
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nuclear,
however
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however,
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 in the previous
year
Add a comma
year,
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this
 number
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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marginally increased to
the
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apply
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26.4 per
cent
. Turning to the percentage of the hydro natural flow, 20 years ago
this
 coefficient was 8.7 per
cent
 fractionally higher than the
last
year
.
Moreover
, in
this
 given period of time the lowest percentage of energy was generated by the oil. 2.1 per
cent
 and 4.0 per
cent
 respectively.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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