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Writing Samples
Band 5

Space exploration costs taxpayers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantage of spending money on space exploration?

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In the present age,
government
Add an article
the government
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 annually share funding for
space
Use synonyms
 technologies.
By
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In
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this
Linking Words
 way, they can create great developments on it, like making people's communities easier, which may have negative
effects
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 on the economy of the country. One significant advantage of spending money on new
space
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 technologies is that it lets people have more facilities in their lives. Creating and developing our
space
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 area will give citizens valuable knowledge about our planet
as well as
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 the universe. By using new
space
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 technology, our scientists could have more facilities to see other details on planets and see changes in the universe, just to know and open up new knowledge for our young generation during their study period.
Moreover
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, funding for
space
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 exploration has another positive side,
that is
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 linked with economic opportunities.
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Due to
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Space
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space
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 exploration fosters economic growth by creating jobs, stimulating innovation, and driving investment in related industries. It has the potential to spur new industries
such
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 as
space
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 tourism, asteroid mining, and satellite manufacturing.
On the other hand
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, it has was negative risk to human life, just because
space
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 exploration involves inherent risks to human safety, including exposure to radiation, microgravity
effects
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, and the possibility of accidents during launch, landing, or spacewalks. Astronauts face long-term health risks from extended
space
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 missions.
Other
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Another
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 negative is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 environmental impact.
For
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example
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example,
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space
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 missions can have environmental consequences, including pollution from rocket launches and the creation of
space
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 debris. Managing
space
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 debris is crucial to preventing collisions that could endanger operational satellites and spacecraft. In conclusion,
space
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 explorations have
effects
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 on both sides. Meanwhile,
this
Linking Words
 funding on it make
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effects
Correct your spelling
affects
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on
Change preposition
apply
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people’s facilities and
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
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while
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 it
also
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 has negative
effects
Use synonyms
 on human life.

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Introduction Clarity
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed. While you've done a good job starting the discussion, a clearer outline could enhance reader understanding.
Balanced Discussion
For a stronger argument, balance your advantages and disadvantages more evenly. Ensure both sides are explored equally to provide a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Language Variety
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to more effectively communicate your ideas. This not only makes for a more engaging read but also showcases your language skills.
Grammar and Spelling
Be mindful of small grammatical inaccuracies and spelling errors. While your writing is generally clear, polishing these aspects can further improve the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
Structure
Your essay provided a coherent discussion on the topic, well organizing the content into clear sections.
Content Depth
You included relevant examples and explanations to support your points, enhancing the depth of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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