in many countries rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?""
Nowadays,
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
number
of people
who are living in the countryside settlements are moving to urban areas
.In my point of view
it's a negative Add a comma
view,
development
whereas
some individuals consider it as a good development
.
First of all the number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
population
in a particular site or region has a direct contribution to the Improvement of the sites.Higher population
leads to Add an article
a faster
the faster
faster growing
economy and urbanization of Add a hyphen
faster-growing
area
.Add an article
the area
However
many people
are now coming to cities
and this
is because the number
of people
living in the rural settlements are
decreasing.Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Consequently
it adversely affects sustainable economic growth and Add a comma
Consequently,
aggravate
Change the verb form
aggravates
development
of these sites which are less developed compared to urban Add an article
the development
areas
.Furthermore
, every region in the world needs younger
Correct article usage
a younger
population
those who are productive and potential employee
.Fix the agreement mistake
employees
Nevertheless
, while
migrating to cities
people
left older
Correct article usage
the older
population
behind especially those who have retired.For
this
reason
rural Add a comma
reason,
areas
do not have people
who are appropriate and relevant for further
development
in terms of their productivity and contribution.
On the other hand
,it's commonly believed that soaring
Correct article usage
the soaring
number
of people
leaving countryside
Add an article
the countryside
for coming
to the Change preposition
to come
cities
can have positive impacts on people
themselves.It is apparent that job opportunities and quality of life are far better than rural
regions.By moving to bigger Change preposition
in rural
cities
people
can find new jobs with higher and rewarding salaries.As ay
result, unemployment rates are depleting.İn addition, Correct your spelling
a
people
who are moving to cities
can esaily
improve their life conditions.Correct your spelling
easily
For example
, If they start to live in cities
, they will have access to better healtcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
system
and transportation.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
systems
Rising
Correct article usage
the Rising
number
of population
are tending to live in cities
rather than less
developed rural Change preposition
in less
areas
is a negative development
and brings lots of drawbacks.For example
,it makes even
harder to improve Correct pronoun usage
it even
economy
of local Add an article
the economy
areas
and this regions
become less productive. Change the determiner
this region
these regions
However
,some individuals feel that it favors
many Change the spelling
favours
people
in terms of finding a new job.Submitted by Name_1234 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion. To further enhance clarity, aim for more precise transitions between paragraphs and within them.
Task Achievement
You've done well to answer the prompt fully, presenting both sides of the argument before arriving at your conclusion. For even greater impact, incorporate more detailed examples to strengthen your main points.
Language Usage
While your essay is structured logically, consider varying your sentence structures and using synonyms to avoid repetition. This will not only enrich your writing but also make it more engaging for the reader.
Structure
Clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
Content Depth
Full response to the prompt, with a balanced examination of both perspectives.
Use of Examples
Good use of examples to support arguments, though more specificity and detail would strengthen your position.