IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparison where relevant.
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The two pie charts provide information about why human beings use vehicles or bikes when they are going to graft. In overview, there is a comparison between motor users and cyclists when they are travelling to reach their
working places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is represented in percentage.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, bicycles are not expensive compared to cars with around 30%,
however
Linking Words
, vehicles are
also
Linking Words
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
 than
quards
Correct your spelling
guards
quads
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, cars
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 approximately 40 per cent of comfort,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why people prefer to drive rather than cycling and due
Change preposition
to it's
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
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 14% of fastness.Meanwhile, those who want to exercise and stay fit
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can use a bike which means there is
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of physical
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
 during cycling,
this
Linking Words
 is clearly represented
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a maximum percentage of 30.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
auto mobiles
Correct your spelling
automobiles
show examples
 can highly pollute
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
 whilst bicycles
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 less pollution about only thirty per cent.
Additionally
Linking Words
, another advantage of using vehicles,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
when
Correct word choice
that
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 humans carry their
equipmentand
Correct your spelling
equipment and
equipment
as well as
Linking Words
 tools when they are driving to work.To add on, with cars, there are some problems
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 parking but cyclists can leave their bikes even
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the pavement.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there is always a probability of huge risks if a person afford cycling because driving is 11% safer than cycling.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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