IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparison where relevant.
#people #travel #work #bicycle #car #summarise #information #features #comparison
The two pie charts provide information about why human beings use vehicles or bikes when they are going to graft. In overview, there is a comparison between motor users and cyclists when they are travelling to reach their
working places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
.
This
 is represented in percentage.
To begin
 with, bicycles are not expensive compared to cars with around 30%,
however
, vehicles are
also
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
 than
quards
Correct your spelling
guards
quads
.
Furthermore
, cars
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 approximately 40 per cent of comfort,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why people prefer to drive rather than cycling and due
Change preposition
to it's
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 14% of fastness.Meanwhile, those who want to exercise and stay fit
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can use a bike which means there is
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of physical
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
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 during cycling,
this
 is clearly represented
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a maximum percentage of 30.
Moreover
,
auto mobiles
Correct your spelling
automobiles
show examples
 can highly pollute
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
 whilst bicycles
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 less pollution about only thirty per cent.
Additionally
, another advantage of using vehicles,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
when
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 humans carry their
equipmentand
Correct your spelling
equipment and
equipment
as well as
 tools when they are driving to work.To add on, with cars, there are some problems
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 parking but cyclists can leave their bikes even
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the pavement.
Lastly
, there is always a probability of huge risks if a person afford cycling because driving is 11% safer than cycling.
Submitted by cajaah93 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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