IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

It is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medical research. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #food #research
Its
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
 says that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not longer will
be use
Change the verb form
be used
be using
show examples
livestok
Correct your spelling
livestock
 for making food, creating clothes and dresses, and for medical reasons. I think
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 hard to completely agree with
this
studies
Fix the agreement mistake
study
show examples
. In our daily life, we
are using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 animals
frequency
Replace the word
frequently
show examples
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 part of our life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 planet,
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 take
meats
Fix the agreement mistake
meat
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and milks
show examples
milks
Change the wording
milk
kinds of milk
bowls of milk
pints of milk
glasses of milk
show examples
, for eating, without that,
also
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
use it
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
medeical
Correct your spelling
medical
 issues,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicene
Correct your spelling
medicine
, medical drugs, and for sure medical experiments. As you
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 not only clothing
coming
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 from
defferent
Correct your spelling
different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 animals, but many accessories
for example
 bags, walets,
belts
Correct word choice
and belts
show examples
. Recently
useing
Correct your spelling
using
 see
matine
Correct your spelling
marine
 animals for perfumes, they discovered amber from whales.  In my opinion, life
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 relative
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 who is living with people.
Submitted by s0s01 on

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structure
Try to develop a clearer structure in your essay with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to enhance readability and flow.
examples
Support your main points with more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.
clarity
Work on the clarity of your ideas by organizing them more logically and using transitions between them.
task response
Ensure your essay addresses the prompt directly by stating your position more clearly and developing your arguments in relation to the prompt.
engagement
You've provided a variety of points related to the use of animals which shows engagement with the topic.
comprehensiveness
Your willingness to cover multiple aspects of the issue (food, clothing, medicine) shows an attempt to provide a comprehensive view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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