Online shopping is increasing dramatically. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of jobs required?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that the popularity of online shopping is experiencing a significant surge.
This
essay will show its far-reaching negative and positive
impacts
on the
environment
and on various jobs related to e-commerce. The increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
online shopping brings both positive and negative
impacts
on the
environment
.
This
trend has helped minimise emissions and fuel consumption by decreasing the number of private vehicles
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
to traditional
stores
, thereby contributing to improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution.
Nevertheless
, remote purchasing
also
leads to a rise in packaging waste as
this
method often links with the process of product transportation, which requires careful packaging with multiple layers
such
as shock-absorbent wraps,
cardboard
Correct word choice
and cardboard
show examples
boxes, to protect goods.
This
perspective is particularly true with the case of To Lich
river
Capitalize word
River
show examples
, located in the heart of Viet Nam’s capital, where numerous plastic bags and cardboard boxes are thrown into the river, causing water pollution and creating an unsightly and foul-smelling
environment
that significantly
impacts
on resident’s health and urban skylines. The growth of e-shopping
also
affects human employment in both
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
and
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
manners. On the one hand,
this
trend creates many new opportunities for the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market. It is because of maintaining an online store, various roles
such
as customer data administration, consulting staff and delivery drivers, opening up more employment opportunities for workers.
On the other hand
, as online purchasing becomes increasingly prevalent, traditional brick-and-mortar
stores
have to face the risk of bankruptcy. The reason for
this
is consumers tend to buy essential items
such
as food on online groceries thanks to its convenience, rather than going to nearby
stores
as before, leading to declines in the revenue of these
stores
, particularly those owned by older people who may struggle with cutting-edge. Grab is a perfect example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
phenomenon, especially since
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
grocery delivery online, consumers can simply use their mobile phone at home to order various goods including food, medicine,
clothing
Correct word choice
and clothing
show examples
and wait for the delivery drivers to arrive.
This
significantly reduces the number of customers visiting traditional
stores
and markets for shopping. In conclusion, online shopping
impacts
the
environment
and the labour market in both positive and negative ways.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Great job on illustrating the impacts of online shopping on environment and jobs using clear and relevant examples. Continue refining the essay by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs. Try using phrases that connect ideas more clearly.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider adding a broader range of impacts or delve deeper into potential solutions to the negative impacts you've identified. This will show a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion
You effectively introduced and concluded the essay, clearly stating what will be discussed.
examples
The use of specific examples, such as the To Lich river and the impact on traditional stores, adds depth and clarity to your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: