Your friends recently moved to a new city. You will also be moving to the same city. Write a letter to your friends and include: - Ask where to find a place to live - Tell them what type of place you’re looking for - Share some fun things you would like to do when you get there Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#friends #city #place #type #you’re #fun #addresses

Hi Jasmine, How are you doing? I hope you are doing well. I have some exciting news for you. I got admitted for my post-graduate studies at the UNSW and I will be moving to Australia by June. I hope to see you more. Anyway, I need your help to find a place to live. I am looking for a place to stay near my University or someplace that has a hassle-free commute . Could you please send me any trusted websites or let me know if you know of any affordable student accommodation?

Furthermore

, I am looking for a studio apartment below 400A$. The lesser the rent the better but safety is my first priority.

Besides

, I will be working part-time jobs where

subsequently

earn some money for myself.

Therefore

eventually I will be able to pay more rent. Admittedly you are the reason I am moving to Australia to do all the fun stuff together in our free time. In fact,

firstly

I want to visit the Luna Park. And

then

we can go to the Sydney Opera House.

Moreover

, let us go on a ferry ride around the harbour bridge.

To sum up

, please help me find a place and we will visit, well... everywhere. I miss you and I can't wait to meet you. Please ring me up if you have any information regarding the accommodation and list all the places we can visit. Hoping to hear from you soon. Warm Regards, Barbara.

Submitted by dhayaneyvijayan on Fri Apr 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to maintain a consistent thread of topic within each paragraph to enhance clarity and coherence.

task achievement

While your enthusiasm is clear, ensuring that each paragraph focuses more distinctly on one aspect can help with readability.

logical structure

For even better structure, consider briefly summarizing your request and excitement about moving in the concluding lines.

greeting and closing

Your letter displays a clear and appropriate structure, with a suitable greeting, body, and closing.

complete response

The task was fully achieved, with all parts of the question addressed thoroughly.

suitable writing tone

You used a friendly and appropriate tone, making the letter engaging and personal.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

247 words

8.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The Greeting

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many developed countries, fast food is cheap and widely available. Many people tend to choose unhealthy option. what can governments do to solve this problem.