The bar chart gives information about the number of overseas Japanese tourists between 1985 and 1995, and the line graph illustrates percentage of those going to Australia between 1984 and 1994.

The bar chart gives information about the number of overseas Japanese tourists between 1985 and 1995, and the line graph illustrates percentage of those going to Australia between 1984 and 1994.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph illustrates the
number
of
Japanese
who travelled abroad from 1985 to 1995.
On the other hand
, the line chart displays the proportion of
Japanese
who visited
Australia
from 1984 to 1984.
Overall
, the
number
of
Japanese
who travel to other countries increased significantly. In
decade
Add an article
a decade
show examples
, the
number
had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
tripled. Started with less than 6 million people in 1985, it skyrocketed to more than 14 million people in 1995. The only decrease happened in 1991, but the
number
did not change much.
Moreover
, there was no difference
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
number
of
Japanese
who travelled to
Australia
. The smallest percentage of
Japanese
who go to
Australia
happened in 1985, and the largest one was in 1995.
This
number
is inclined from year to year. Over a decade, there were about 15 million
Japanese
who went to
Australia
. In
conclucion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, there was a large proportion of people who
travel
Wrong verb form
travelled
show examples
from Japan.
Submitted by mayaanita.studi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words number, japanese, australia with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas tourists
  • chart analysis
  • data interpretation
  • percentage increase/decrease
  • tourist trends
  • economic factors
  • promotional activities
  • visa policies
  • cultural influences
  • social factors
  • culmination of trends
  • speculation
  • preference shifts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: