In many developing nation, the rush to become industrialized has created major problems with air and water quality. What are the problems that this has brought about and offer some solutions to these problems?

With the help of technology , the world has come a long way . The industrial buildings
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been abrupt soar in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
scenario . It has some positive impact
as well as
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
. One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people who believe that industries
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
created huge
cruz
Correct your spelling
crises
with air and water quality . There is a range of conflicting arguments
releted
Correct your spelling
related
to the assertion . In upcoming paragraphs, I'll not only shed light on the problems happening because of the development of industries but
also
elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
possible solutions to solve
such
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
.
Submitted by shyamal017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Task completion could be improved by addressing both parts of the question more directly. Consider starting with a clear thesis statement that directly responds to the prompt.
Task Achievement
For a higher score in Task Achievement, ensure that your response thoroughly explores both the problems and suggested solutions, offering specific examples and elaborations.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve cohesion by using a variety of linking words and phrases to more clearly connect your ideas and arguments.
General
Proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos, as correcting these can help improve the clarity of your message.
Introduction
You've successfully introduced the topic and indicated a dual focus on problems and solutions, which is commendable.
Task Attempt
Your willingness to cover both sides of the issue—problems and solutions—shows an attempt to fully respond to the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accelerated
  • deteriorated
  • respiratory diseases
  • untreated industrial waste
  • aquatic life
  • biodiversity
  • habitat destruction
  • ecosystems
  • extinction
  • urbanization
  • overcrowding
  • stricter environmental regulations
  • sustainable
  • green technologies
  • renewable energy sources
  • fossil fuels
  • waste management
  • contamination
  • vehicular pollution
  • conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: