Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

Students

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

are studying in universities prefer to be engaged in different fields of study, not only their major subject.

While

other individuals consider that if you are engaged in your main subject the result will be better.

Hence

, I will discuss both cases and open the question

why

Change preposition

of why

show examples

I would prefer to study variously.

Submitted by illamigrogorodskoj on Fri Apr 05 2024

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Content expansion and support

The essay currently provides a very brief overview of the topic with limited development on each point of view. For improvement, it would be beneficial to expand on each perspective presented, providing specific examples and more detailed explanations on why some students prefer to study various subjects, while others focus solely on their main area of study. This expansion will contribute to both the task achievement and coherence and cohesion scores.

Organization and clarity

To enhance the logical structure and flow of your essay, consider organizing your essay more clearly into paragraphs that each focus on a specific point or perspective. Start with an introduction that clearly states the topic and your thesis, follow with body paragraphs that each address a different view (making sure to support your points with specific examples or explanations), and conclude with a summary of your discussion and your own stance on the issue.

Addressing the prompt fully

Make sure to directly address the prompt by discussing both views presented as well as giving your own opinion more explicitly. This will help with the task achievement score as it shows you have fully understood and responded to the task requirements.

Topic engagement

The essay indicates a willingness to engage with the topic's complexity, suggesting an underlying understanding of the different perspectives.

Introduction of personal opinion

The introduction of a personal stance shows a good attempt to provide an original point of view, which is a positive aspect of task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

55 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others however, say that cooperation and teamwork and skills are more important discuss both sides and give your opinion

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?