Some people think that excessive use of smartphones badly affects a teenager’s literacy skills. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #smartphones #teenager’s #literacy #skills

In contemporary society,

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

has been a long debate about

smartphone

addiction

Change noun form

addiction's

show examples

impact

Change preposition

show examples

youngsters,

whether

Correct word choice

and whether

show examples

phone usage

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

or detrimental

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

. Some societies have

notion

Add an article

the notion

a notion

show examples

that

overuse

Correct article usage

the overuse

show examples

Change preposition

of gadget

show examples

gadget

Fix the agreement mistake

gadgets

show examples

could impact teenager awareness performance,

while

I do not agree with

this

opinion wholeheartedly. In forthcoming paragraphs, I will

ellaborate

Correct your spelling

elaborate

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

positive and negative

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

smarphone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

smartphones

and provide logical

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

to filter the harmful

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

of overly

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

gadget

Fix the agreement mistake

gadgets

show examples

. First and foremost, Communication devices

Change the verb form

are

show examples

ubiquitos

Correct your spelling

ubiquitous

rightnow since it become a primary need for everyone and adolescents

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

exeption

Correct your spelling

exception

. By using

Add an article

a smartphone

show examples

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

, we can connect to the world,

for

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

we can read

news

Correct article usage

the news

show examples

easyly

Correct your spelling

easily

, watch a podcast, and catch up with the

communites

Correct your spelling

communities

single

Add an article

a single

show examples

touch. If we can

use

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

properly,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can become

perfect

Correct article usage

the perfect

show examples

appliance

Fix the agreement mistake

appliances

show examples

to learn

Change preposition

for learning

show examples

and improve our knowledge

significanly

Correct your spelling

significantly

On the other hand

, a lot of kids today

witnessing

Wrong verb form

witness

show examples

excessive

use

of phones to access non-important

website

Fix the agreement mistake

websites

show examples

. To exemplify, They tend to spend their time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

scrolling on

instagram

Change the capitalization

Instagram

show examples

or playing

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

all day.

By owing

Verb problem

Due

show examples

to these reasons, children do not have time anymore to learn or

reading

Wrong verb form

read

show examples

a book which badly

influenced

Wrong verb form

influences

show examples

their literation performance. On top of that,The majority

youngsters

Change preposition

of youngsters

show examples

who became

a phone dependence

Correct your spelling

phone-dependent

show examples

never connect with communities again which

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

have a low awareness

Change preposition

show examples

the environment.

To sum up

, Mobile devices have both

advantegeos

Correct your spelling

advantageous

advantages

effects

as well as

harmful impacts based on the way we

use

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. As a guardian, parents should teach their

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

how to

use

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the right path,

such

implement

Change preposition

by implementing

show examples

child mode. In the future, I hope proper mobile phone utilization

lesson

Fix the agreement mistake

lessons

show examples

should be

teached

Correct your spelling

taught

show examples

in every school to guide the students.

Submitted by epindonta02 on Fri Apr 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay contains relevant points about the impact of smartphones on teenagers, which is good. However, try to ensure you have a clear position throughout your essay to enhance your argument.

coherence and cohesion

To further improve clarity and cohesion, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing more effectively to clearly separate your ideas and arguments.

task achievement

Including more specific examples or data to support your arguments can strengthen your essay. This approach can provide a stronger foundation for your opinions.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced perspective by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of smartphone usage, which is excellent for the task.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and wrap up your essay effectively, contributing to a good structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that it is an individual responsibility to take care of an environment but others think it is the government's job to do so. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion
Nowadays, the debate over whetever people must be concerned about environment or government should undertake the responsibility for taking care of surroundings has become the center of question. This essay will shed light on both points of views and reveal my personal perspective.
7
band
'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?
Social media plays an increasingly pivotal role in our lives, and being able to use these systems is definitely an advantage both socially and professionally. However, it seems an exaggeration to say that ignorance of these matters will ‘always’ restrict people’s careers.
7
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This essay argues that, nowadays, students are facing overwhelming obstacles to succeeding in their education. Therefore, some individuals believe that it is necessary to cancel recreational curricula such as life skills, cooking, and physical exercise, as these activities tend to exhaust children. This allows students to focus more intently on their studies. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with this idea, as I believe that extracurricular activities can improve students' corporate sense and make them healthier.On the one hand, parents and teachers have a responsibility to instill a sense of teamwork rather than solely focusing on grades and achievements. Therefore, it is the responsibility of children's supervisors to encourage their children to participate in sports like football, basketball, and American football, as these activities can teach them valuable teamwork skills. For example, in developed countries such as America, Canada, and Korea, they believe that children with ...
<4
band
Some people believe that it’s acceptable for the media to publish the details of famous people’s private lives.Others say that it should be stopped.
Some people think that it is satisfactory for the media to release the particular celebraties’ peronal lives, but other people disagree with this case.It provides to people to have get different experiences.
7.5
band
Many people think that museums and galleries should only show work from local artists rather than work from other countries. Do you agree?
Museums and galleries play important roles in people’s daily lives, while some people consider that indigenous artworks should be emphasised rather than foreign ones at local museums or galleries. On my perspective, I partially agree with that, and in this essay, I will discuss my opinion with examples in the following paragraphs.

Some people think that excessive use of smartphones badly affects a teenager’s literacy skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that it is an individual responsibility to take care of an environment but others think it is the government's job to do so. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

Some people believe that it’s acceptable for the media to publish the details of famous people’s private lives.Others say that it should be stopped.

Many people think that museums and galleries should only show work from local artists rather than work from other countries. Do you agree?