IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Group or team activities can teach more important life skills than those that are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?

#group #team #activities #life #skills
There is an ongoing debate regarding the merits of
group
activities
 versus individual
activities
 in terms of developing important
life
skills
. In
this
 context, there are proponents who argue that
group
activities
 hold more prominence
due to
 their collaborative nature, and I partially concur with
this
 viewpoint.
Nevertheless
, I presumably believe that personal
pursuits
 can
also
 provide valuable
life
skills
, if not more so. Admittedly, advocates of
activities
 done in
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 often highlight
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 collaborative nature of
this
 endeavour, suggesting that people can mandate teamwork, communication, and leadership
skills
.
In other words
, working in a team setting can provide
individuals
 with opportunities to learn how to cooperate, delegate tasks, and resolve conflicts effectively.
This
 is mainly because
group
activities
 often simulate real-
life
 scenarios where
individuals
 must learn how to navigate diverse perspectives and work towards their common goals.
However
, it is essential to recognise that solo
pursuits
 offer an equal amount of invaluable
life
 lessons. Undertaking
such
 tasks alone renders its participant the ability to foster
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
self-reliance, independence, and accountability.
This
 is because,
while
 working independently,
individuals
 must rely on their own judgement, problem-solving abilities, and perseverance to overcome challenges when compared to the approach of
group
activities
.
Therefore
, in my view,
this
 self-reliance not only
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
 confidence and resilience
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
also
 empower
individuals
 to tackle obstacles with determination and resourcefulness. A
further
 advantage, somewhat related to the one mentioned above, is that solo
activities
 will provide their inherent traits in deep introspection and personal growth. When working alone,
individuals
 do have more freedom and pace with their own time to explore their interests, pursue their passions, and discover their strengths
as well as
 weaknesses without a large scale of external influences.
This
 self-discovery is especially integral to developing a strong sense of identity and purpose, which lies the main foundation for personal fulfilment and success in
life
.
In addition
 to that, individual
pursuits
 often require a high degree of focus and concentration, so honing essential
skills
such
 as time management, organisation, and critical thinking is
siginificantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 crucial in the scenario that if one wants to be an independent learner. In
summarising up
Wrong verb form
summary
show examples
,
although
group
activities
 undoubtedly offer valuable opportunities for collaboration and interpersonal development, I contend that solo endeavours can teach equally important
life
skills
. Self-reliance, independence, personal growth, and critical thinking are just a few examples of the invaluable
skills
 that
individuals
 can acquire through individual
pursuits
.
Therefore
, I disagree with the notion that
group
activities
 are superior to imparting essential
life
skills
.
Submitted by anhtutn034 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Example Detail
Remember to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While your essay presents clear arguments, integrating detailed examples could strengthen your points significantly.
Transition Variety
Consider varying your transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Although your essay is well-organized, diversifying transitions can enhance readability and coherence.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and outlines your viewpoint, providing a clear direction for your arguments.
Balanced Argumentation
You successfully address both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments, reinforcing your stance on the issue and providing a coherent closure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: