nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

In today's fast-paced society, many people are
suffering
Verb problem
struggling
show examples
to get adequate sleep. sleep deprivation can impact their physical and mental health.
This
essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
its
negedive
Correct your spelling
negative
impact on
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
of
individuds
Correct your spelling
individuals
and solutions to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
issue. Sleeping for short
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
of time can lead to various physical illnesses
such
as Obesity, hypertension and
cardio vascular
Correct your spelling
cardiovascular
show examples
disease. It
also
weakens
immune
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the immune
show examples
system of
Individual
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individuals
show examples
. Their
proffessional
Correct your spelling
professional
life would be impacted by
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of concentration , which leads to
decline
Add an article
a decline
show examples
in productivity.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
add
Replace the word
addition
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, their mental health will be hindered,
due to
prolonged sleep deprivation. They have to deal with anxiety, depression and many more psychological symptoms . If, they are not mentally fit. ,
then
they have to go through tough times to maintain their personal relationships. It can be solved by taking fruitful steps.
Firstly
,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
should implement a rule for working
hours
.
Hence
, humans do not have to work for longer
hours
by sacrificing sleep.
Secondly
, people should avoid using electronic gadgets
such
as
phone
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phones
show examples
, tablets, social media and more before going to bed. It is believed that if you are not using any electrical device for
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
of
hours
before your
bed-time
Correct your spelling
bedtime
show examples
,
then
you will get
peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
show examples
amount of sleep.
Additionally
, individuals should set up their
routinely
Change the adverb
routine
show examples
schedule to avoid
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
sleeping
hours
.There are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of applications available on
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
to track their sleep pattern. These can be pretty helpful for them to get proper sleeping
hours
.
To Conclude
, lack of sleep has
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
effects
physiological
Change preposition
on physiological
show examples
, psychological and
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
personal life. It can be sorted out by adapting
sleep
Correct article usage
a sleep
show examples
schedule and distancing from gadgets, games and
netwerking
Correct your spelling
networking
sites. There should be some kind of awareness of proper sleep
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
. 0
Submitted by manipreet1217 on

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Language & Accuracy
Ensure consistent use of tenses and careful selection of words to improve clarity and accuracy. For instance, consider revising phrases like 'suffering to get' to 'struggling to get' for precision.
Lexical Resource
To enhance your score, try to further develop your arguments with a wider range of vocabulary. Avoid repetition of words and phrases where possible.
Grammar & Spelling
Be mindful of minor typographical and grammatical errors, such as 'negedive impact', 'proffessional life', and 'deterimental effects'. These small mistakes can detract from the overall quality of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly by linking ideas more clearly. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively, such as conjunctions, synonyms, and pronouns that refer back to earlier ideas.
Task Response
The essay clearly addresses both aspects of the question: the problems caused by lack of sleep and possible solutions.
Organization
You've structured the essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Supporting Examples
You've provided specific examples to support the points made, enhancing the essay's persuasiveness.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
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