Some people say that it’s important to have a lot of money to be happy. To what extent do you agree with this statement? What other things can make you happy?

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According to

Linking Words

some people, an ample amount of wealth is important to lead a happy and successful life.Though there are many other things, on which

happiness

Correct article usage

the happiness

show examples

of a person depends like love, kindness ,

Correct word choice

and frienship

show examples

frienship

Correct your spelling

friendship

, the major source of happiness for

Remove the article

apply

show examples

kin is still funds in his bank account, and I will discuss

this

Linking Words

idea in the following paragraphs. First of all,

due to

Linking Words

paper money the wheel of the world is moving, so Yes, In

this

Linking Words

materialistic world, If you want to buy something, you need cash. It

also

Linking Words

brings a

sense

Use synonyms

propserity

Correct your spelling

prosperity

in an individual and creates a

sense

Use synonyms

of respect in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

For example

Linking Words

, Industrialists and Wealthy people

tends

Change the verb form

tend

show examples

to have greater fame and even their pity matters are

boradcast

Correct your spelling

broadcast

online. They

also

Linking Words

Change the verb form

show examples

a major chunk of cash in charity,

thus

Linking Words

creates

Wrong verb form

creating

show examples

a positive impact on others.

Secondly

Linking Words

, Wealthy

Individual

Fix the agreement mistake

Individuals

show examples

can afford all sorts of extravaganza trips and

creates

Correct subject-verb agreement

create

show examples

memorable moments which

lasts

Correct subject-verb agreement

last

show examples

forever.

For example

Linking Words

, My Uncle works tirelessly for his business and we all pity

Change preposition

apply

show examples

him, but every year he

booked

Wrong verb form

books

show examples

a lavish vacation trip for his family,

thus

Linking Words

creating lots of unforgettable memories, which could not be possible

otherwise

Linking Words

On the contrary

Linking Words

, it is believed by many that a minimalist approach is better as it turns out to be contended and creates a

sense

Use synonyms

hormony

Correct your spelling

harmony

Also

Linking Words

, emotions like empathy,

Use synonyms

sense

Correct article usage

a sense

show examples

of respect, friendliness and positive family values can only be preached in

less

Correct article usage

a less

show examples

money approach. For

exmple

Correct your spelling

example

, in a recent survey, It is observed that the children of

middle class

Add a hyphen

middle-class

show examples

families have higher moral values and

shows

Correct subject-verb agreement

show

show examples

greater respect towards elders and siblings,

Linking Words

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

their following

counterpart

Fix the agreement mistake

counterparts

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

a minimalist approach is gaining ample popularity today, It still can't beat the luxuries of life which are only possible through having

gaint

Correct your spelling

great

capital.

Submitted by mahambaqai on Sat Apr 06 2024

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Task Achievement

You have presented a clear position throughout your response, which is good. However, to enhance clarity, consider revising sections where your argument could be made more directly or clearly.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence, try to make smoother transitions between your ideas. Using a wider range of linking words can help your essay flow more naturally.

General

Be mindful of minor spelling and grammatical errors, as they can detract from the clarity of your argument. Proofreading your essay could help identify and rectify these small inaccuracies.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your argument.

Task Achievement

You have used relevant examples to support your main points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

306 words

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Some people say that it’s important to have a lot of money to be happy. To what extent do you agree with this statement? What other things can make you happy?

Include an introduction and conclusion

You share your room with another studer in the college hostel. You find it very difficult to study there because he or She always has parties and friends visiting. write a letter to the hostel warden complaining about your displeasure with the roommate.

It might be said that protecting the environment is the most important challenge facing governments today. How important do you feel this issue is? Are there other challenges which are of equal or greater importance?

Literature is deemed by many high school students to be a boring and unneccessary subject. Why is this in case? Is literature of any use to young people at all?

People in big cities are facing many health challenges due to a high level of air pollution. What causes air pollution in big cities? Can you suggest some ways to deal with this situation?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.